Tommy's Blog

2010-02-16T02:23:00.001+08:00

Gone to http://pencilization.blogspot.com

~A closing

2009-12-29T05:30:00.002+08:00

You see, I've always dreaded the holiday season. It's filled with this and that. I don't really care if it has become a hallmark holiday, you see. I just feel a tad, lonely perhaps.

Whatever it is. The blog will be closed. For good. Till I find another.

It was a good run guys. Whoever's left.

~The Exams

2009-12-08T16:44:00.002+08:00

So today was fun. I had a test at 8.45 this morning, so, to be safe, I had my alarm set at 6, 6.30, 6.45, and finally 7, so that I make sure I can wake up even if I snoozed it. All was fine, I kept snoozing till the 6.45 alarm, and I just laid my head down for just one minute, then BAM! It was 8.42am. My final test was in 3 minutes. You can imagine the panic I was in.

Usually I have a morning call from a friend, but apparently that friend overslept too, so sucks to the both of us. I quickly rushed to the bathroom, and just wet my hair, dry it up real quick, grab my sweater and bag, and rushed to grab a cab. Imagine me with damp, frizzy morning hair, horridly looking at the taxi driver, and keep pestering him to go faster every 2 minutes. it was not very glamorous.

I manage to reach there at 9.15, which is pretty normal if it was a normal lesson. But it wasn't. So I ran up to the classroom, grab some water from the dispenser, and smiled my way in. A little bit of hiccups while doing, but all went fine. In the end, aced it with just two careless mistakes. It was above my expectations, so I was happy. So yea, the morning didn't start out so well. But ah well.

Can't wait for this week to be over. But for it to be over, I have to finish that darn essay. Dam.

Life,
T

2009-11-25T04:38:00.001+08:00

HAH!

Well, it's true. We are all so superficial. All of us.

~Double the lockpicks

2009-11-24T10:30:00.002+08:00

Morning sunshines.

"Hell week" is supposedly over. Putting Logic aside, the maths test, and the essay on hold, I find time to chug some chips down my throat drink some cold, processed, green tea to flush it all down. Quaint. Tea and briscuits, in the 21st Century. So Saturday was this weird pot luck house party kind of thing.

You know, it's the type of pot luck where everyone brings chips. It's hilarious, really, munching on chips for dinner. Of course, there are other things, such as almond chocolates and little bits of fried chicken, but hey, who doesn't love chips for dinner? Though in the end we did get pizza, and Yuxi did bring his dumplings. It was alright. Not half as bad, seeing how tired I was that day. Left4Dead 2 to distract the guys, and Taiwan/Korean drama to distract the girls.

I hate algebra class because it's at 9 in the freaking morning. That means I have to wake up at 7. Good thing I have morning calls, but seriously, it's ridiculous. It's like secondary school every Tuesday and Friday. Though, I just realized, just two more weeks and it'll be all gone. Sure, I get a few more hours of sleep, but I'll also be missing so many things. Kim's honest and hilarious remarks, Chris's suggestive comments, and of course, Kim and Gunawan's constant bickering and insults. 2 weeks and it will all be gone. Sad, ain't it?

But that's how it is. 1 week till November ends, 3 weeks till school ends, and 5 weeks till 2009 ends. It's fast. And I'm running out of time. Aren't we all though? We are always running out of time, and making time is not that easy either. Maybe it's time to prioritize. What do we really need to do in this remaining 5 weeks? Say our prayers, say our goodbyes? Spend whatever time that's left with your friends, and spend whatever time that's left to insult those scandalous idiots. But just remember, no matter what you do, do it fast, because time is running out.

I think it's time to get those things done, eh? The to-do list ain't gonna be shorter anytime soon, so might as well get started on the first thing up there. Now, the problem is, where did I put my to-do list?

Life,
T

2009-11-23T00:19:00.002+08:00

Good evening Donné.

It has been quite a week, hasn't it. I had my Logic finals on thur. It wasn't bad, wasn't that good either. I should be fine. Though, I will miss logic a great deal. It was my favourite class this semester. Now, I'm left with the boring calculations and essays. That is not fun at all.

Life,
T

~すみません!

2009-11-18T02:01:00.003+08:00

Eh hem.

The sun hasn't been up for a while. The clouds are pretty determined to block it out. And I personally prefer it this way. Yesterday's weather was so nice. It was drizzling, but the rain drops are not big enough to make you wet, so they just evaporate the moment they touch your skin. It was cooling... perfect whether to do just about anything.

Unlike today. The rain poured heavier than concrete. Can't say I'm surprised. Can't say I prepared for it either. Thinking about it makes me want to drink black tea latte...

...mmm yes, black tea latte. I always have that whenever I go to starbucks in indo. I was never a big fan of coffee, more of a tea person, if you may. A nice warm cup of BLT, a nice magazine, and plenty of candies. Eye candies, of course. Though you don't get that much confectioneries over here though. It's all so...

boring.

Though, sometimes, just that little taste of candy in the morning train is enough to make your day. Ah well. That's how rare they are now. You have to treasure each one you see.

A wise owl once told me that a picture only depicts the scene at that moment in time. It cannot be used to judge what has happened, or what is going to happen. But we often make that mistake, don't we? Pre-judging, and, most importantly, smiling.

How often do we smile when we are being taken a picture of. We pose, we force that smile out. No one cares if its genuine or not. As long as no one can tell, it's good enough. But why are we conjuring up this illusion of happiness, just for a picture? 20-30 years later, when you're old and senile, you look back, you see yourself smiling, and you think to yourself, why was I so happy then, yet so sad now?

But you weren't happy then, neither are you sad now. Do you really want to live in a delusion brought about by that picture, that picture of a smile? It's a bit ironic though, a smile is suppose to bring happiness, yet it brings so much sorrow. Short term gain, long term pain.

It's those pictures. Those pictures of a genuine smile. Genuine happiness. Those are the pictures that will make you happy, make you remember the good days, and most importantly, make you strive for happier days. Those are the pictures I want to take. Those are the pictures I wish to be taken of.

So today was another normal day at poker. Though, it is the first time I actually had cold feet when putting in the bet. I was down on my luck, barely 20mins into the game, my money had dwindled just but a fraction of what I bought in with. I was playing recklessly, and what's more it's against kim, mel, and chris. I wasn't playing right, I know that. But what the hell.

Kim kept raising the blind bets by 50, and I was stupid enough to call it, because hey, it's the blind bets. Anything can happen in the flop. So there I put in, 50. My hand wasn't great, couldn't remember what it was, but there was a king. A king of hearts. The bets went round the table. Chris raised, mel called, kim called, and I re-raised. Even though I was losing already, I knew I had to bluff my way through this round. Powerplay. In poker, it's all about powerplay.

And so everybody called, and out comes the flop. Pair 7 and another card was on the table. By now, the pot was pretty big, close to 8 was it? But with a pair 7 on the table, a single 7 on anyone's hand is enough to dominate the table. And everyone knew that. But remember, poker is all about powerplay.

Two 7's on the table means there's only two 7's left out there. With only 4 players, it's unlikely for anyone to have that 7. So what should you do? Make the others think you have the 7.It's all about powerplay.

I raised a 50, an intimidation raise. This is to scare of unwanted buggers, and it worked. Mel and kim was out, and all that's left was chris and me. Chris, now this guy is one of the better poker players here. He is perhaps the only person I'm scared of when it comes to poker. Kim has his lucks, but he never bluffs, and his chases are obvious. Mel is... still a beginner. Though she has the skills, she still makes rookie mistakes, but it's alright. But chris, he's something altogether.

He easily saw through my bluff, and re-raised. You have to remember, when playing poker, don't try to look at your hand more than once. Remember what you have. Though, by now, the stress made me forget what I had, but I remembered I didn't have the 7. And that's enough. From here on, it's all about power-play. The turn, the river, it's just me and chris raising, re-raising, and re-re-raising. I was bleeding out, and by the look of things, he had the 7. But I was already too far in. I had 1.20 left by the end of river. I couldn't play with that little money, so I made the boldest move yet. I went all in, with a bluff. And chris knew this.

Or so I think.

Remember, poker is all about powerplay. Whoever who exhibits the most dominance will win the game. It's not what cards you get, it's how you play those cards. Bluffing is not about lying. It's about subtle hints, timing, and most importantly, intimidation.

He called my 1.20. I thought I was done for here. Then he asked: "You have the seven, don't you?" I didn't had the 7, and I know that. That means he doesn't have it either. He too was bluffing his way through. In the end, I won with that king of mine. He didn't had anything, I didn't had anything either. I won with a king kicker.

That was the most intense poker round I ever played. I remembered how deeply I breathed to try and relax myself, I remember how jittery my legs felt, especially when he called my 1.20. My instincts told me to back out. But nobody backs out at the last round. It was exciting indeed.

And that's what poker is about. It's not all about money, not all about socializing. It's about that risk. That thrill. That king. King of hearts.

I should sleep. Meeting nita for breakfast tomorrow, and I have to prepare of my logic finals on thursday! Wow, logic finals. I really am not looking forward to it at all. And Algebra test is on friday, and I have to get full marks for that. I must, and I will.

Varamos, Donné.

Life,
T

~Jello

2009-11-12T01:20:00.002+08:00

Hello.

My right eye has been itching for quite a while. I wonder if it's alright. I feel like my life is pretty bad right now. I feel so... troubled. By? Responsibility. I wish I can live in grasslands. Miles upon miles of green yonder. Nothing to worry about, nothing to care about. Just me, myself, and I.

It has always been like that, hasn't it? I have always been alone. Well, not always, people just come and go. No one actually stayed. I don't know, I guess I'm happier this way, yea? Though it gets a bit stressful sometimes... like now. I really wish life has a pause button.

Well, at least I've not stopped.

Life,
T

~Ignorace.

2009-11-08T23:37:00.002+08:00

Hello!

I spent this weekend knowing myself better, though I did spend half the time playing Aion. It's amazing what you can learn from such a small incident, you know? Maybe that's a bit of a problem too, thinking too much of such a small, insignificant thing...

I wonder what happened. I used to thirst for knowledge. I always wanted to find out more, more, more. But now, it's all about the latest scandals and hoohas. I feel out of place sometimes, neither here nor there. I want to go for it, but go for what, exactly? I should stop being so vague.

The holiday seasons are coming, and I do wish to spend it with loved ones. The problem is, who exactly are my loved ones? I seem to start enjoying standing still now, but I should also get moving.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid". I find myself uttering these words quite often these few days. I have no idea why, but I'm starting to remember all my past mistakes. The stupid ones to be exact. This cannot be good for my self-esteem. Everyone has their ways of learning from my mistakes. I do too, and quite effectively, mind you. But the problem here isn't to learn from it, it's just to get over it. So what do you do to get over your mistakes? Or do you just let it hunt you through your darken days?

Often I find myself controlling my own faith. I can see what good will happen if I do this, or what bad will come if I do that. But now... I can't really see anything. Maybe it's just the toffee I ate. Been getting indigestion these past couple of days.

I hate having so many secrets.

Life,
T

~Moving on

2009-11-02T23:35:00.002+08:00

Ha. It hurts a little to type like this, with a scar, on my hand right now. Every now and then, I get that urge to just pop my finger, and well that's not the the only thing I pop. Ah well, I'll live through it. Just another scar to live with, right?

It's kind of fun to watch the people you laughed and smiled and cried with grow up, you know? I mean, you're no longer with them anymore, some may be miles away, some, may have long forgotten you, and some might just be right round the corner, but you know, they all have their own priorities now.

But I don't know. I like being talked to. As in, I like solving other people's problem. And the problems I faced last time, all those crushes and friendship problems and whatnot, they seem so trivial now, with all the marital problems, suicidal thoughts, and all those more serious things.

And I really want to just slap and scold some people to just shut up, bulk up, and move on.

But there are others too, huh? Who have already moved on and kinda just, left you behind? I mean, it's not their fault, but you know, sometimes a hello would be nice. Maybe I'm just jealous. Maybe I'm just happy for them. But hey,

life goes on.

~The Mondays!

2009-11-02T22:33:00.002+08:00

Hoorah! I survived Monday!

I'm so proud of myself. I swear I was so intimidated by my to-do list last week. Everything was due on monday, so I had to cram everything to the weekend. And I did. Well, not really, but hey, at least Monday's (almost) over!

Next up: Logic presentation! Hoorah!

Life,
T

~Deprimental

2009-10-22T02:38:00.002+08:00

Hello

Oh Karma.

Life,
T

~Perpetual Motion Machine

2009-10-18T23:40:00.003+08:00

It's a bit of a nostalgia, actually. It really is. I do enjoy helping people, but I don't know if I enjoy it that much. And here's the best part: I don't really get anything in return. Well, at least I usually don't. But you know, sometimes you just wish you get rewarded in some way.

I miss karma, you know that? I miss his antics, his humorous sarcasm. And him criticizing our failures. I miss him. Though it's a bit weird for a guy to miss a guy but...

I WANT TO PLAY WITH HIM AGAIN! :(

But screw what society says. I mean seriously, there is no guidebook for this. You make your own stories, you know. There's no point living someone else's story. But it's tough writing your own stories. I'm never a fan of fairy tales anyway. I'd prefer those kick ass 98 pages thesis on why the sun will rise again tomorrow. Of course, I'd prefer it if you condense it to just 1 paragraph, but hey, that's just me. So I shall just take a step forward, and leave a footprint behind. That's my story for you.

And the truth hurts, you know that. But you can't go through life without getting hurt. So I'd really appreciate it if you tell the truth more often. Don't mind hurting people for once. You're not some 6 year old who sees the word in sunshine and clouds. You do know how to get hurt, and how to hurt people. Sides, what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. So you're actually helping people become stronger.

But don't go overboard. Don't be the playground bully. Use the power of choice wisely.

Fudge crud. I'm giving some bad advice lately, aren't I? I wish we live in the 50s again. Life was so simple, you know, being Butcher Pete. He's hackin he's slashin he's just a dick.

Now shut up and eat your vegetables.

For Chaos,
The Inquisitor.

~Vanilla

2009-10-17T03:02:00.003+08:00

Hello.

I really think there's something wrong with security guards. I always have bad experiences with them.

First there was that rock throwing incident. Me and some friends were having BBQ at my place. Suddenly, while we're just sitting around and talking, some guy from up top suddenly starts throwing rocks. Rocks. Can you believe that? Throwing rocks at us from somewhere up high. That is just wrong. What if one of em hit us. A concussion would be the least of our worries. So when this security guard came up and we told our story, he just said, keep the noise down.

I was just filled with shock and disappointment. I mean, here we are, getting thrown at, and he just stands there idly, not doing a single thing about. I admit, we were making maybe a tad too much noise, but that does not justify someone to throw rocks down at us. And the fact that the security guard didn't do anything about it? Gosh.

Then after that incident, it made me think. Why does my condo hire old and dying security guards? Security guards who can't even think for themselves and do everything by the book? I mean, think about it. We hire security guards to secure and guard our property. If the security guard is not even capable in protecting himself, what makes anyone think that he can protect our property? It's stupid, it's useless, and I do not see the reasoning behind this. I think I'll actually feel more secure with them out of the way.

And today, another incident. Me, hm, jer, yx and simon were out at Orchard Central, finding a nice place to sit and play some good ol cards. We did find a nice place, a cozy little corner away from the crowd. We were playing half way, and I was just beginning to get comfortable, then this security guard comes and say we can't play cards. Why? "Because I said so." Dumbest. Fucktard. Ever. Like, we weren't even gambling, it was just cards. We were in a corner out of the way of everyone, and it was like 11pm, not like there were people there anyway. I don't see any reason why we shouldn't play cards there. He didn't say we couldn't loiter or sit there and chat. He specifically said cards.

What is with people and their perception of cards anyway. Playing cards has been here since the 9th century. It was a popular method to pass time, and it never had such a bad reputation. Nowadays, when people see cards, they quickly associate it with money and gambling. Just because cards are used in gambling, doesn't mean all card games are gambling games. That's just a illogical. And it's very sad to see people use this type of reasoning. Maybe we should all take some PHI1100 (Intro to Logic)...

Alright, I think I should stop complaining for a bit and write something that can actually be worth discussing.

As humans, we make decisions. Decisions are made through rational thinking, and a set of 'rules', 'rules' that we made ourselves through the lessons we have learnt throughout life. You know, "Bros before hos", "No man is an island" or, my personal favourite, "Curiosity killed the cat". All these little sayings, they all affect the decisions we make.

But some of these quotes, sayings or 'rules', you never really experience them before. Maybe you heard them from friends, movies, or the internet, but you never experience the lessons and hardship that contributes to their meaning. As such, you just accept them without considering their validity. This can be a very serious fallacy.

How did you know curiosity killed the cat. From my personal experience, curiosity never did kill the cat; it was stupidity. No man is an island? Tell that to the monks that spends decades isolated in the Himalayas. Bros before hos? Enjoy getting analed.

The point is, you can't use your little rules for everything in life. Each situation is different. It's all up to you to decide what to do, base on the circumstances of the situation. Use these sayings as a guide, but do not let it make the decisions for you.

Life,
T

~Remembrance

2009-10-16T01:47:00.002+08:00

I remember the days when I used to worry about the coming O levels.

I remember the days when we study together at the library, and we'd draw lots to see where to eat dinner.

I remember the days where I'd wait 15mins for that 265 just to catch a glimpse of her.

I remember the days of eating McDonald's and looking out the window, wondering what things would be like in a year's time.

I remember the days when we'd surf for pornography and project it on the screen to let the whole class watch together.

I remember the day when you broke my mouse, prick.

I remember the day where I got chased by a dog.

I remember the day where I'd be so proud of myself for earning an eraser from you.

Yea, those days were great, but,

I look forward to the days where I can take her to the movies.

I look forward to the days where we'd all do shisha and laugh all night long.

I look forward to the days where I'd get so drunk I'd probably be put in jail for a day or something.

I look forward to the day when we'll see the setting sun together, and wake up to the rising sun.

I look forward to the day I earn my first million.

I look forward to the day where I'd hold my first child.

I look forward to the day when my children get married.

I look forward to the day I hold your hands in my deathbed.

You're right, the past was definitely better, but the best things lies in the future.

I probably have missed out some stuff, but, just remember: whether tomorrow is a better day all depends on your actions today.

~Mizts

2009-10-09T01:25:00.003+08:00

Hello.

I do applaud if you're still following this blog, though it is very much dead and very much unredeemable. I shall try though, as much as possible, to drag its suffering for as long as possible.

So today was a thursday. We were all riled up for the results of our second econs test. Alas, Chitra disappointed us, making us wait and worry through the weekend, till monday, where we'll get back the results. And she even throw in our very first assignment. How admirable of her.

While normally Intro to Logic would follow econs on thursday, Burik was kind enough to give us a mid-term break, which means all logic classes are cancelled this week. This break was very much needed, especially after our killer logic paper. I'd never see a sentence as a sentence no more. Logic has permanently damaged our brains.

So without econs, I was bored, bored, bored. I wanted to go Kino to get the monthly PCGamer, along with other graphic novels. Hm, decided to wait up for Juliet since she wanted to go to the bookstore too. So I waited. From 1.30 to 6. In between was filled with flash games, napping, and cards. I swear, I love the student lounge more and more. It's the perfect place to just chill after class, whether it's playing cards, or just taking a (not so) short nap.

Somewhere in between, Bartles called, saying he wanted to hang with Poppish again. That means movie and Cineleisure. That's convenient for me, since I'll be going orchard for the books anyway. So a quick call to poppish and we confirmed the movie - 500 Days of Summer.

Now 500 Days of Summer was a special movie for me. I've been waiting for this movie to come out since I saw the trailer 3-4 months ago. One of my favourite actress (Zooey Deschanel) is in there, and its a rom com, one of my favourite genre. In other words, I was fucking thrilled to finally watch this movie, even though it was with 2 other dudes.

Ok, the movie was at 9.30, so we had plenty of time before that. After grabbing a couple of books (Jack of Fables #6 FUCK YEA!), me and Juliet met up with Bartles and Poppish for dinner. Japanese Pasta. How nice. No really, it was fucking awesome. The ingredients are so fresh (except for their Pocky sticks), and we shared quite a bit of laughter over the delicious food. Nothing like a great dinner with friends.

So Juliet left, since she wanted to go eat her mom's cooking. Choosing food over friends. Pfft! Shame on you! It's left with 3 guys and dessert. Fast forwarding the hilarity that ensured, we went to the movie theater, after Bartles wanted to go pee 3 times within half an hour. 500 Days of Summer.

Wow. All I can say is just how great the movie was. It was worth the wait. Definitely worth the wait. I think it has just became my favourite movie. Ever.

Well, we split after that. It was 11.30 and I had to chase the last train home. I manage to board it in time. I didn't manage to alight it in time. And it suck to miss the Yio Chu Kang platform, because the next station - Khatib, 8min ride away. That means its over an hour walk.

I arrived at Khatib, hoping there'd still be 855, a direct bus that drops me right in front of my house. Alas, 2339 was the last bus. I had the choice of cabbing or walking. Of course I chose walking. I love walking. So yea, without a map and a sense of direction, I embarked on my journey, at 12am in the night.

Walking was fun, especially at night. I've to admit, I was scared at some parts because it's all dark, dense vegetation, and sometimes I could see some lights among the leaves. It was freaky. But it was also... nice. It gave me time to think. Think about stuff I'd normally wouldn't have time to think about. And the smile on my face when I saw my house. Yea, walking was fun.

So here it is, another (not so) typical day of my now college life. School work, cards, poker, beer and other whatnots fills up the remaining days. Though the days have been great, sometimes I still miss my secondary school life. Sometimes.

Tokidoki.

To Life,
Tommy

~Learning

2009-10-02T16:56:00.002+08:00

Hey.

We all make mistakes. We often try something without realizing the consequences it brings. We often fail and disappoint others, as well as oneself. It is normal, you know. To fail. To make mistakes. As depressing as it sounds, making mistakes is a vital part of life; a learning process for success. So why do I still feel so bad?

The most important part of making a mistake is to learn from it. I know this. I know this so well. But yea, why aren't I learning from it? Perhaps each mistake is different, you know? Each one is unique, and has its own special method of getting over it. That might actually make sense, you know. But, it doesn't, doesn't it. There is only 1 factor, 1 variable that is different. And I know this, but I refuse to accept it.

So is it my fault? It is under my error of judgement, but like I said in my Panda essay, just because it is partly my fault, doesn't mean I'm oblige to fix it. Instantly I see the error in that reasoning. It's amazing what logic do to you. Anyway, yea, I guess it is my responsibility to fix it. And I should fix it. You should too. Why aren't you fixing it?

Life, is full of mistakes. With so many mistakes, so many failures, there is but a few successes. Getting over it, yea, let's start fixing stuff this weekend. Pick up that phone, start calling, and apologize, say sorry, and say: Fuck you.

Life,
T

~It's a game!

2009-09-29T00:08:00.004+08:00

Hello!

It has been a very long while since I've felt like this. Since I've feel that life is a challenge. A challenge, yea, I love challenges. I love proving myself. And I just have to prove myself once again. Once more.

So how is everybody? It's a nice monday today, good day to start the week at. Exams are abound in the next 2 weeks. Actually, only 2, Logic and Econs, but yea, it's mid term week, so no surprise there.

Whoops, look at the time. One day I'll get my lazy ass straighten up and do a real post.

Till then,

Bye.

PS I'm working on a 4A MV. Status: on hiatus, but it'll be done!

~The Pandas

2009-09-27T23:03:00.002+08:00

Hello.

So I spent my weekend writing why pandas should die.

It was not nice.

I wish my next weekend won't be this. Weekends have been a bore for me lately. It's time for a change :(

Life,
T

~About time

2009-09-25T18:47:00.003+08:00

Hey

I'll put some song later on. Mozart, anyone?

So much has been happening this week. From a boring weekend, to really late nights, to smoking and drinking (not what it sounds like), I think this week was pretty good. And I'll... I'll carry on, no matter what happens, to live life this way. It's not about the awkward moments or dissimilar conversation topics that makes new environment suck. It's because it takes time to adapt. And I think, by now, everyone has adapted to JC, poly, or where ever they went. And I just did too.

It was a familiar feeling. A rash action. I lost 9 bucks from poker today. It actually taught me something. What is it? I'll tell you... later. Yes, later when I put Mozart's piano sonata up there. But hey, I think I broke even. Won 9 bucks from my first poker game, didn't win nor lose on my second, and my third... yea, I lost 9 bucks. So I'm on a clean sheet.

I don't think I need luck. I just need to put in my best. Put in my best and yes, hopefully, it will also turns out to be the best.

Thank you, for teaching me a lesson. It took me a few years to get it, but it was worth it.

Life,
T

~Weekend

2009-09-19T21:39:00.005+08:00

Hey

I feel... bad. Not regret or anything like that, it's just that I've got quite a bit of stuff in my head right now, and it feels kind of... uneasy. I mean, yesterday, I feel so content and light after I had finished my Logic homework, then today, today I feel so... convoluted. Bleh.

So how goes my readers this weekend. In celebration of Hari Raya, the monday is also a holiday, that means long weekends! Gosh. You got to love long weekends right? Well, I don't know. I'm unusually bored this weekend. And despite the enjoyment weekends usually bring, the following Tuesday is accompanied by the dreaded Algebra test. Oh how dreadful indeed.

Nothing much happened, y'know? Ok, actually quite a bit did happen, but that's only to be whispered under the table. Then again, if everything were to be shared under the table, the dinner table would be a very place, wouldn't it. I feel like... buying headphones again.

I probably have too many, but...

Ah crud, I'm becoming like an audiophile now.

To Life,
Tommy

~Messy

2009-09-11T02:03:00.003+08:00

Hello.

Multi-tasking sucks. I got called drunk, buc buc lau, and other whatnot because I tried chatting w/ 3 ppl on msn, 3ppl on skype, play poker and read up my algebra. It is not fun at all.

But hey, what can you do right? Chatting with 3 ppl that I care, cracking jokes with buds on skype, winning at poker, and preparing for tomorrow's algebra. Just trying to make full use of my time. At 2 am in the night.

So how has everybody been. I mean, I haven't really ask that question for a while already. I think the number of viewers has dropped quite a bit due to my absence.

I guess I'm trying to fit in. But should you "try" to fit in? I mean, if you're playing puzzle pieces, you don't try to fit the pieces together. If they go together, they go together. If not, they're not meant to be together. Maybe that's how it is with life. You drift across the thousands of puzzle pieces, and until the invisible hand picks you up and fit you with that perfect one, you just have to wait, wait and enjoy being with the crowd.

What am I talking about? Maybe I really am drunk.

Life,
T

~Trilogy comes in threes

2009-09-05T00:26:00.005+08:00

Hello.

It hasn't been a while, has it. Yea. Why am I updating anyway. Alright, let's go.

Anyway, how have you guys been. The secondarians are having their prelims, if I'm not wrong, and the polians are having their long awaited holiday. I'm sure they're having fun, but I know they'll spending more being bored than being fun. Long holidays always suck, I'd rather just have my weekends and hang out with friends. You know, once you get used to the 5-day-stress-2-day-free momentum everything seems to just fall into place.

Ok I lied a bit there. Nothing falls into place. You have to force them into place. Sure, it sucks, but hey, the end result is worth it right? I better hope so. I put in way too much effort to force everything into place. Alright, that's another lie. I never put in effort into anything. I'm just way too lazy. What's with me and lying today?

-

I think we all have a certain goal in mind. A goal that drives us forward. This could range from starting a revolution to just getting through the day. But whatever the goal is, it's strong enough to make us work. Work. Yes, often we work so much that we forgot about our goals. Some people are precarious and often plan one step ahead, and they seemingly never forget their goals. But no one is perfect.

I made resolutions this year. Some of which I have fulfilled, while other I have not. Remember how afew posts back I said I wasn't ready for something. I think I can feel myself getting more and more ready now. Striving towards that goal, that goal of being ready. Sure, like any journey to any goal, there'll be setbacks. There has been times where I continually doubt myself if I'm ever ready. But since I've already go this far, why look back. I may have a lot to lose, but I have a lot more to gain. Yea that's right, we should all just keep walking.

I'm talking more and more shitty now. Yes, I think I still remember the recipe for a good blog post. I shall try concocting one right now!

Life,
T

~Criticals

2009-09-04T00:44:00.000+08:00

Hey!

Join me!

Life,
T

~Logic

2009-09-02T02:25:00.002+08:00

Hahaha!

It's been a while since I've smiled at a question because of its ingenuity.

PS Won 29bucks at poker today. Felt awesome.

~Poker

2009-08-28T17:37:00.000+08:00

Hello.

I've been playing poker a whole lot during the holiday, and while I've cut down on it now, I sometimes see my life as a poker game.

My hand was bad. Not very bad, but bad enough for me to fold. Well, I didn't. Naturally, I would just call the blind bets and wait for the flop.

And then the flop came. Things actually look promising. I can play a relatively good set, but it's not high enough. I decided to keep raising to increase the pot size. As long as this keeps up, I'm sure to win, right?

The the river turns. The 4th card dealt was a very bad card for me. It could cost me the whole game. It's like as if the other players have a small, subtle grin at the edge of their mouth. The pressure is on. Everybody raised. I began to lose it a tad bit, but it's ok. Things may not be that bad. I have to keep on bluffing and hope they too are just bluffing. But I know it's not going to work. My fate really depends on that last 5th card.

So what would that last card be?

To Life,
T

~All in due time

2009-08-25T01:03:00.003+08:00

Hello!

I don't care what you guys said, I'm loving this song!

Ok, I admit, I should have blogged a very long time ago. But alas, laziness and tiredness, and among other things, delayed the post. Well, I'm back in Singapore, if that's what you're asking. Very much alive and pretty happy at the moment. What am I happy about? Because today is one of the rare days where things don't fuck up, and I'm grateful for that.

So what has happened. Well, the holidays came. My summer holiday. Haha, in the movies, summer holidays were suppose to be this awesome 3 months filled with friends and lovers. Wait, that is spring break. Summer holiday is when we go back to our families, and that is exactly what I did. Went back to the people I call a family. Well, that doesn't mean I left out the friends. In my effort to change being the effing coward that I am, I agreed to go to Bali with my sister and her friends, who is ironically people from BCC, which is the school I'm in now. Sure I may not be friends with them, more of acquaintances, but that's good enough, because at the end of the trip, we were all friends.

So in Bali, suntanning, diving, loads of good food, a tad of shopping, and unforgettable memories. Really burned a hole in my pocket. But was it worth it? Fuck yea!

Yea, it's amazing what a small "yes" can lead to, huh? Well, I'm less and less resistant to change now. In fact, I'm trying to embrace it. But well, something happened a couple nights back which made me realize that I was going a tad too fast. I wasn't ready for some changes yet. But nevertheless, I'll keep on changing and well, who knows, maybe next time, I'm ready.

Ok, summer holiday, what's next. Other than getting bored being stuck in indo, I went to the Fall '09 Orientation. Was pretty nice, I must say. I mean, it's nice to finally hang out with clueless students for a change. Yea, cards is the only thing needed to get oriented. A nice cold can of Carlsberg, and a cards. Had fun meeting the people not of summer too. Always nice meeting new people. Then the second day, the BBQ. And so they claim I make the best satay. I really don't know, I mean, it tasted... normal. And ironically, it seems it was only the new students who are cooking for the old ones. Roles are a tad reversed, don't you think? Then after, drinks. I've to admit though, I was actually looking forward to playing the circle of death. But alas, tiredness overcome some of them and we never got to play. So, we just drank and talk the whole night through. Tequila, Absoluts, yea we had plenty. Note to self (and others): Never buy dry gin just because the bottle looks nice. It tastes horrible. And we were forced to mix it with ice lemon tea at one point, just because we ran out of mixes. Gosh. Then there is the Sheridan. Best liquor I've tasted. Then again, I've not really tasted that much liquor. Anyway, it's really nice. It's basically like alcohol with coffee. You can do shots all night long and it still won't taste bad. Though don't do too much. Lest you get drunk, of course.

On the note on being drunk. I actually like myself drunk. Well, as quoted by Hong Min, "I wasn't drunk, I was TIPSY." Yes, there's a clear difference. I was still able to walk in a straight line, so yea, TIPSY. Other than the light-headedness, and the redness of my skin, being drunk actually make me socialize a lot better. I guess that's why some people are social drinkers, eh? Get it? Social drinkers? Heh, I suck at these puns.

Yea, so the orientation chalet pretty much wrapped up summer. Oh, of course, there's that awesome game with my usual L4D mates. Loads of laughter, mayhem, and yea, our rustiness got the better of us. I was pretty sleepy due to the lack of sleep the few nights before, so my performance was well below average. But that doesn't mean my laughter was below average. Ah well. I love playing with them guys. They be awesome.

And so starts the fall semester. So I bid farewell to summer. You've been awesome.

To Life, and summer,
Tommy.

~A world for us

2009-07-29T23:17:00.003+08:00

Hello.

I had a very nice dream today. I've never had a dream so... dramatic. That's what you get when you sleep at such ungodly hours. Your desires, even the most subtle ones, starts to manifest your oh so tired mind.

Off to Indonesia (again). Ciaos.

Life,
T

~Eyes

2009-07-28T14:39:00.002+08:00

Hello.

Anything Goes by Cole Porter

I guess you can call me a bit of an eye expert. I mean, I've always found eyes one of the most captivating feature of almost anyone. I've seen all types of eyes, sorrowful, vengeful, and even an infected eye. But today, today I saw a pair of eyes filled with... ?. Her eyes is something else, something I've never seen before. It's not mesmerizing, nor is it captivating. But there is something about it, some ambiguity perhaps, or maybe it's just her contacts, but whatever it is, it left me intrigued. Who was she, you ask? She is nothing but a passing eye candy.

And so I step across the line, the line that determines everything and nothing.

Life,
T

~Making things smaller

2009-07-17T03:50:00.002+08:00

Hello.

I want to blog so bad right now, but I can't, because it's almost 4 and I have school tomorrow. Why do I always receive my daily dose of smiles at the end of my day? D:

So tired, too many stuff to do, bleh.

I shall return!

Life,
T

~The old days

2009-07-14T18:02:00.003+08:00

Hello

Do you remember the old days. You know, the prepubescent days where we ask our usual clique what type of girls do we like. Remember how we say we are going to find partners base on their personality rather than their looks? Haha, yea, how wrong we were.

Well, we are not exactly wrong. But really, nowadays, we judge a person by their looks first, and if it catches your attention, you'll then try to get to know her. But I guess we're judging their looks so as to judge their personalities. What you wear on the outside is just a reflection of what you are on the inside. But remember when we are young, our parents, our teachers, they often tell us never to judge a book by its cover? Well, they are the same people that said "Don't talk to strangers", and if we had listen to them, we'll all be very, very lonely.

Relationships are always hard. We always seem to try and pick the best apples off the tree. But without the tree, the apple will just slowly rot. Alright, that was a horrible analogy. What I'm trying to say is, don't try and look for perfect. A relationship is like a journey. As you walk the beaten path with your partner, both of you will learn some new things, new skills, new experience. And at the end of the day, both of you will have change, for better or for worse. If you were had picked a perfect partner, at the end of your journey, she will no longer be perfect. Instead, get someone imperfect, but not incompatible, and make her perfect by going through the journey together.

Picking apples is always tough, but picking the right one is always satisfying. Just remember to pick the ones that suit your taste, and look out for the rotten ones.

~Oh the damnation

2009-07-10T23:35:00.003+08:00

Hello.

Digital Love by Daft Punk

I lead a sad life, really. Well, everyone is, at some point in their life, seeing how life has its ups and downs and yadda yadda, but yea, I really lead a sad life. Don't you hate it when the writer is being so vague and secretive, like "why the hell is he saying all this if he won't say his probs man?" Well, it's probably because the problem is pretty sad.

Alright, let's be truthful for a bit. I'm insecure. I always have been, and maybe always will be too. I know I need to change, but well, change is hard. It's even harder if you're so insecure. Things will continue to change. My circle of friends is not going to last forever. It'll probably be gone by next year or so, then it's time to meet new people. It's good right? No. Not if you're as insecure as me. You'll always stick to the "safe people". I mean, I'm always the guy who wants to have fun, but because of my group of friends, my way 'of having fun' is different. It's not like they are bad people. They're nice to hang out with, you know?

Change is always hard, but it's necessary. Change will always come whether you like it or not. Changes comes in time. But how you deal with the changes, now that is the tough one. Because no matter how much change you might experience in your life, they're all going to be redundant if you yourself don't change. You learn from the changes in life, and you adapt.

So yea, I guess that's it. It's time for me to adapt.

Life,
T

~Adjourned

2009-07-07T23:04:00.002+08:00

Hello.

Alright, I admit, I'm long overdue for another blog post. I wouldn't even count the previous post an actual post. Anyway, time for an update.

So a couple weeks back, I had this dream. If I were to have this dream 5 years ago, I would have felt creeped out, and if I were to have it 2 years ago, I would have felt nice and warm. But then I had it now, and that just makes me feel sad.

And here is the sad part; I dreamt of the same thing twice in a row.

A year ago was a fanatic of dreams. I would have analyzed every single dream, break them up and put them back together, trying to figure out what it means. But darn, I'm just too lazy for that now (Lazy is another way of me saying I'm busy, btw).

Anyway, I didn't care about the dreams I had couple weeks back. I just go on with my daily life. Sure, it bothered me from time to time, nothing much, but yea, it did bothered me. Till today. Yea, something happened that cleared all my doubts, and I'm sure I the dreams won't bother me again.

Today was a very weird day indeed. Tiresome, normal, misleading, doubtful, reassuring, confusing, ah well.

Writing essays everyday sucks, but it beats going JC or poly.

Life,
T

~Goodbye

2009-06-26T15:25:00.001+08:00

For those who have not heard the news, Michael Jackson died yesterday.

"Now cracks a noble heart. Goodnight, sweet Prince.
And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest." -Horatio

Goodnight, sweet prince.

~Chamomile

2009-06-23T23:59:00.001+08:00

Hello.

Have you guys had chamomile tea before? They smell so very fragrant, really. You actually spend more time smelling and savoring the fragrant rather than actually drinking it. It's really quite amazing.

Life,
T

~A Change

2009-06-12T15:58:00.002+08:00

Hey

It's hard being perfect, isn't it. Everytime you do good, people just expect something more and better from you. Pushing you pass perfect, going beyond the limit. It's hard, I know.

But deep inside, you're just human. It's ok not to be perfect. It's ok to be sad. It's ok to be angry. There's nothing wrong with it. Just don't overdo it, and you'll be fine.

The only reason why we make mistakes is to learn from it, and therefore, improve ourselves. Being perfect just makes you stagnant. Live a little, have some joys and sorrows.

And sure, you may not be perfect, but many people see you that way.

And screw my problems, I'm just doing what I do best: helping others.

Life,
T

~A bunch of decisions

2009-06-10T20:45:00.002+08:00

Hey...

To Love You All Over Again by Madeleine Peyroux

I seriously don't know what to do. Blah.

I think I know why I'm so sad of these changes. It's because while everything else have changed, I've not. I'm still stuck in the past. I'm making decisions based on the situations of the past, and not the future.

But... but...

The future look so bleak, how can I make a decision base on it? Be optimistic, they say, but how can you when your world is so grey? I really don't know what to do. There are no patterns to follow, no sum to solve. And I don't even know who to go for help. I'm just so used to solving things on my own.

And tomorrow, reality will kick me right up the arse. This is going to be hard.

I really love my current steam friends. We talk as if we're close friends, but in reality, we don't know much about each other. And it's because of this anonymity that we have learn to treat each other no different than the next. But, I know it's just a matter of time before we have to leave and lead our own lives. And me too.

Oh gosh, look at me.

Alright, let's talk about sims 3, or, as I call it, my barbie.

This is Nina. I made her with the help of Simon and hm when I first got sims 3. She's quite the woman. She's at the top of her career, a professional chef, angler and painter, and is your very typical woman. She's now living with a ghost (through some very weird circumstances), and is picking up gardening as a hobby.

Here's her house, very similar to Max's (or Mark's, can't remember) bachelor's pad in Sims 2, though a lot better. A small garden at the side. I'll have to expand it someday, but for now, it's suffice.

Here's the result of her exploring the catacombs for the first time. It was a very fulfilling experience, after finding a large meteorite, in which I sold it for over $6000.

Here she's just getting up the corporate ladder, by sleeping with her boss. His wife is just by the next room. I got them divorced though, so it's not an affair anymore ;)

Well, I shall get back to listening to Madeleine Peyroux. Get her album, she's pretty cool, and good to listen to when you just need to relax.

Life,
T

~On Forth

2009-06-07T17:56:00.002+08:00

Hello.

Alright, I've to admit. I can't say I didn't see it coming. In fact, I saw it coming from miles away. But lazy me, I just couldn't be bothered by it, and now, it has come to kick me in the ass.

Change is what I'm talking about. Changes, to be exact.

It's already June, and I've got nothing. I mean, there's currently only one path open for me, but really? That school is a dump!

And do you know why I've held myself back from blogging these past few days? Because I realise how public this blog is. Everyone can read it, and that includes the people that shouldn't read this. And it's because of this I've to use analogies and metaphors so as to not offend anyone. Did you know people actually get sued for blogging? Not arrested, it wasn't against the law, but sued. Because people couldn't take a pinch of criticism.

And did you know that President Obama could actually shut down the internet in times of "emergencies"?

Why would anyone even consider shutting down the internet in terms of emergency? Communications is crucial in these situations, and they actually want to shut the most commonly used form of communication? What, they want us to pay phone bills to contact loved ones? Use skype, people!

Sigh.

I'm currently not in a good state, that I've to admit. When people ask me, 'so what are you doing now?', if I were to tell them my current living scenario, it would fit the criteria of having no plans, no life, no nothing. A worthless leech, as they call it. The truth hurts, and that's why we lie, so less people would get hurt. There's already enough people in pain.

And did you heard about Left4Dead 2? Biggest joke ever, releasing a sequel for a game barely a year old. If I were to delve into that debate, it would go on for ages.

And for those who want to borrow the Sims 3, feel free. I've already made a mini image so you can play it without the disc. There's already a waiting list, so be quick.

Gosh I hate myself for writing these type of posts.

Life,
T

~And... now?

2009-05-30T23:59:00.002+08:00

Hello.

I'm feeling much better from my jet lag now. Though I must admit I woke up at 4pm today. Don't ask why, just blame Valve for making such a good game. I've been getting the sniffles ever since the day before I left for Singapore though. No idea how I got through both Japan's and Singapore's health checks without being labelled as Swine Flu'd, since, you know America is the second most infected country, and Japan is right behind it.

Sniffles might be an understatement though. It's more of a rake is being dragged up and down my throat, with phlegm the thickness of cold honey stuck in between. Did you know that phlegm is actually just snot? Everytime you suck those snot back into your nose, it goes down your throat. Usually, it's not so thick, so it goes through your throat pretty easily and down to your stomach to be digested. But this cold-honey phlegm of mine... oh boy. And don't forget the snot oktoberfest.

So today I went out for dinner with Simon, Ben, Joshua, hm and Sheryl. At first I wasn't really feeling all that well to go, seeing how I just got back earlier in the midnight. But, a nice can of coffee was enough to get me up and running again. A nice hot ramen from Ajisen really didn't help my sniffles. And really, how hard is it to get a bowl of scallop ramen? I can't seem to get my palate on it no matter where I go, be it America, Japan or Singapore!

And of course, after dinner was a movie. Night at the Museum 2. I have to say it's really nice. Both adults and children, family, friends or couples will definitely enjoy it.

After the movie it was close to midnight. As regular poor students, we have to use the trains to get back. With the last trains leaving soon, my EZ-link card suddenly said "insufficient funds". There was well over S$2 in it. The new EZ-link card disallows travelling with cards of values less than $3. Well fuck that. Quickly borrowed 2 bucks from Ben and rushed to the GTM to top up the card. It said: Card not recognised. What the fuck. Then I went to the next one, it stated: minimum top-up value of $10. Fucking hell. So I quickly ran to the control station (it was pretty far, from the Plaza Singapore mrt entrance to the Red line control station), and again, they won't accept my $2 top up. And so, because of that, I'm forced to use my $50 note to top up my card for $10, so I can board the last train home. In the end, I got into the train in the nick of time.

And this is why you shouldn't change your ez-link card to the new fucked one. It's just not worth it.

And soon after, I went back home to play l4d (very exciting versus match, btw), chat around a bit, played a bit of tf2, went to sleep, and woke up at 4pm. Quaint.

Alright, alright, enough of me blabblering about the day.

On the way to Dhoby for dinner, I saw this girl walked into the train. She was pretty, I can tell you that. Bit too much make up, and dresses a little more than casual, but again, I didn't really mind. On her hands was shoppings bags, so, being a big jerk I am, I stereotyped her to be one of those Daddy's little girl who goes out shopping everyday. Then she suddenly took out some papers which read Singapore Management University on the top left. And so, my perception of her changed from a pampered child to a hardworking lady with a bright future. All in under 1 minute.

It's amazing how often we quickly jump to conclusions. I mean, I have to admit if I were to compare my initial perception of the people I know today before I actually knew them personally, they'd be vastly different. I mean, if you were to see President Obama on the streets before he became a president, would you know he's a politician? Or perhaps the future president? Probably not. Each and everyone of us is a blank wall. What we put up on the wall affects what others think of us. Some of the stuff on the walls are always there and can't be taken off, like a small crack, or a black stain, but whether or not you choose to hide it with a painting is your choice. But remember, as people examine the walls closer, they'd find the crack sooner or later.

I'm sure many of you would like to hear of my exploits in the states. That, would be for another day, or two. Or, it would just be for a nice dinner conversation.

Life,
T

~Travel Logs #2

2009-05-22T04:18:00.003+08:00

Below are the transcripts of the travels logs of a young boy in his journey from Singapore to San Fransisco and back.

21st May
Day 0

0710 Log #008
The morning sun is really setting in now.

0713 Log #009
I just realised this is the first time I saw a sun rise in months.

0715 Log #010
Just helped this chick getting online. Feels good man.

0725 Log #011
I could be at starbucks drinking a double espressio,
I could be at 7-11 buying a couple cans of red bull,
instead, I'm outside the gate listening to DJMP2 OST, trying to keep myself awake.

0733 Log #012
Beep Beep. I went through the metal detector. Now where's the horde?

0746 Log #013
What the fuck. Either I'm so tired that I'm hallucinating or I just saw the boobs of the chick I helped grew bigger!

0753 Log #014
My flight is to Japan...
Which means Japanese people...
Which means Japanese girls...
Which means....

0823 Log #015
Oh my god. The stewardess are so fucking hot! Why can't other airlines get more Japanese stewardess?!

0841 Log #016
And we have lift off. Japan here I come! I don't know how long the flight's gonna be though.

0901 Log #017
6 hours to Tokyo. And wow. They serve the best apple juice ever.

0942 Log #018
I shouldn't have had that Burger King. Couldn't finish the 5-course in flight meal.

1135 Log #019
20th Century boys... Why hadn't I heard of it before?

1420 Log #020
Hadn't gotten any sleep in over 24hr.

1454 Log #021
I've never seen the ocean so wide, so blue, and so calm before!

1605 (GMT +9 from now onwards) Log #022
Welcome to Japan!

1616 Log #023
And welcome to Narita airport!

1624 Log #024
Even the security guard look so cute! Japan ftw!

1635 Log #025
The waiting rooms, looks a lot like those in Vietnam...

1641 Log #026
That's it. I hereby conclude that there are no fat Japanese girls (yet)

1712 Log #027
Flight's going off in about 50min, and it's a 9 1/2 hour flight.

1725 Log #028
Nothing gets more manly than sumo wrestling

1751 Log #029
[deleted]

1801 Log #030
Not as much hot stewardess as the previous flight, but enough to please the eyes.

2108 Log #031
I read this before... you actually get more attentive when you don't sleep for 30-40hr. Crashing starts at the 40hr mark.

0007 Log #032
It's a little over 11 at Singapore, but it's daybreak here over the Pacific.

0230 Log #033
11km up in the sky, less than an hour away from San Fransisco.

0322 Log #034
Saw my first view of America. Looked a lot like the town in Sims.

1130 (GMT -7 from here onwards) Log #035
Touchdown.

1150 Log #036
Took 20min for the plane to park.

1207 Log #037
Troublesome immigration.

1222 Log #038
First encounter of a dispute less than 30min into the country. Quaint.

1227 Log #039
Overestimated the temperatures. It's pretty much like perma-air-conditioning.

1247 Log #040
First homeless bum spotted

-End of logs

Decided not to continue with this, since I spend more time writing down what's happening rather than enjoying it.

Pfft.

And while everyone thought I was in the states, I secretly went to Venice...

~Travel Logs #1

2009-05-21T06:53:00.002+08:00

Below are the transcripts of the travels logs of a young boy in his journey from Singapore to San Fransisco and back.

21st May
Day 0

0440 Log #001
Finished packing most of my stuff. Left the camera, in which the battery is still charging. Didn't get any sleep; been playing L4D with the usuals. Taxi is coming at 5.30, or at least it's suppose to. Will update later.

0446 Log #002
Fuck. Stomach ache is back.

0555 Log #003
Gotta love the airport. Hot chicks everywhere!

0621 Log #004
Mmm... Burger King for breakfast. Where's my heart attack?

0628 Log #005
Morning fries are greasy and sticky. What the fuck.

0635 Log #006
Oh! The sunrise is gorgeous from here!

0642 Log #007
The fries were atrocious! Worst fries ever!

~So...

2009-05-21T00:38:00.002+08:00

Hello.

I'll be in the states to attend my sister's graduation from the 21st to the 27th. Flight's probably gna eat my biological clock, so don't expect me to be up and running till the 28th.

Life,
T

~Pre Ordering Sims 3

2009-05-20T17:16:00.004+08:00

Hello.

So... I just got myself the pre order card for Sims 3.

And... it cost me 75bucks, but it was totally worth it. With it, I get a free Sims 2 expansion pack, 1 vintage sports car, 1 european sports car, both in game, of course, a 2GB Plumbob USB drive and a Sims 3 poster. All for just an extra $18 (Standard edition cost $56.90). Totally worth it.

European sports car. Snazzy.

Also, I'll most probably be going to its launch party at Bugis (details here), so if any of you want to join me, feel free to come.

Life,
T

!Mumbles

2009-05-18T02:36:00.003+08:00

This is the type of post which I would force everything out just for the sake of it. It's hard, it's painful, it will be loud and everyone would notice it, much like your adventures in the public restroom. But I know I have to get it out, or it will get worst. Much like shit. It's amazing how much similarities both this and shit share.

Alright then, here goes.

It all started a few months, when my sister told me she got accepted to the Master's Degree of hers. Prestigious, very indeed. But like everything prestigious, it's also expensive. And with me in the midst of completing the paperwork for my schooling, our parents had to choose between me going to the states or continuing her study in the states. Of course, this didn't happen. Yet.

My sister and father had a misunderstanding between them regarding this issue, which resulted me halting all the paperwork, forced to fly back to Indo and attend the our first family cryfest. The cold war between my father and sister lasted to the point that I had to intervene, because I knew if I don't, I'll most probably be stuck in Indo for...ever. Either way, the cold war ended, my father wants to her to come back Indo and help him, and I continue to finish and submit most, if not all my paperwork. Everything went merrily. Then again, you'll realise, nothing was really merry in this family of mine.

Now here comes another character in this story, Dr Sim. I don't know if I should blame her, but the way my mother puts it, I should. Anyway, Dr Sim is this psych my mother go to, for god knows what reason, and apparently, I was dragged to her to. I've only met her twice, but apparently, it was enough for her to deem me immature. And of course, my mother listens to everyone but those whom she deems "inexperienced", or in other words, me. So when Dr Sim shared her view of me as immature, that was enough to turn the whole story around. And here's the ironic part, when I met her the two times before, she said, and I quote, "I think you're mature for your age".

Long story short, that single advice from her to my mom was apparently enough to void me of going to the states to study. And since I was staying around, it was my sister who got to go to her Master's Degree. Of course it was a kick in the bloody balls for me. I spent months preparing myself for the next chapter in my life, only for it to be rewritten by a bloody psych.

Do pardon my language outburst. It still stings a bit as I write this post.

So here I am. I'm sorry Nita, I couldn't go to the movies with you tomorrow, because apparently, I have to go and register for my new Singapore school. And I'm sorry to the people I've not tell you this. It's a very long story, and it hurts everytime I think about, so I might as well just post it here for all to read and understand.

So here's the summary:

I'm not going to the states for studies

I'm still harboring vengeful thoughts

I'm staying in Singapore for studies for god knows what

I'm going to the states on the 21st May to attend my sister's graduation ceremony, and nothing else, and I'm still pondering on whether or not I should bail on this too

I do hope you will not bring this topic out of this blog. All comments should be directed to the tagboard, no exceptions. Any emails, msn messages, sms's, calls, will not be entertained, and I hope you understand why.

Life,
T

~Overdued

2009-05-17T23:33:00.003+08:00

Hello.

So after helping nt with his blogskin, I decided to change mine too.

So there it is.

And I'm going to post something really big tonight. After I've played my usual rounds in l4d, of course.

Life,
T

~Judgemental

2009-05-13T00:15:00.003+08:00

Hello.

Like I said, I like distracting myself from my problems, so let's try to solve other's, shall we?

We often ask ourselves, what are we living for? I mean, really, as the chinese saying goes, 生老病死, we go through life just so that we can die? Come on! We might as well save time and evade all that suffering in between by killing yourself now.

But what we often forget is the joys in between birth and death. Your first kiss, your first job, your (first) marriage, your first child. But then, you ask yourself, are these joys worth the time and suffering we go through in life? Well, yea. It's the sufferings you go through that make you enjoy these joys even more.

And what's "living" anyway. You go through the same routine over and over again, day after day. Sure, when we were young, we have big dreams (mostly doctors and lawyers), but what happened in between? I can assure you that most people starts out trying to achieve their dreams, but at the end of the journey, they have already lost sight of their dreams.

Being 'human' entitles us to have emotion. Sadness, happiness, getting mad, these are all normal things. It is important to let them out, and not bottle em all up together. You wouldn't want to be someone who doesn't have any emotions, always trying to put on a smile, hoping no one will notice the sorrow behind it, do you? Of course not.

And with time, we must know that we can't keep everything we love. We all have to let go of things. We let go of friends when we graduate, parents let go of their children. It's all normal. Yes, I admit, some people have to let go of things more often than others, but hey, you're also getting more things in return. We're all independent individuals if we wanted to. So, come on, let go off your blankey and switch off that night light. It's time to face your fears, and other whatnot.

Life,
T

~Muddled up letters

2009-05-11T23:09:00.003+08:00

Hello.

Bleh.

I have a problem. In fact, I have many problems. I'm sure we all have. But this is my blog, so I shall talk about my problem... for now.

My problem is that I try to ignore my problem.

Wait. That sounds confusing.

Basically, I try to distract myself from my problems. And well, what better way to do that than to fix other people's problem right? Right.

This goes on fine, since I'm a lazy fucker when it comes to doing things myself, for myself. So usually, helping others is what I do best.

Then there comes the time when my problem become so big, that other people's problems are dwarfed in comparison.

The problem cause me to fuck up everything other thing that I do, and makes me fucking depressed. Fuck.

So, am I going to fix the problem?

I know I have to, I know it's going to get worst, and I know it's for the best...

But hey, I'm just a lazy fucker.

Life,
T

~The big 2 with a double O

2009-05-09T11:59:00.004+08:00

Hello.

I can't help but think that sometimes I'm being a bit of a disappointment. With everyone having high expectations of me, it gets pretty hard to prove oneself over time. Then again, this post isn't about that, as this marks my 200th post in this blog.

Right. So today we had this farewell party for me. I do have to thank the organisers, Sheryl and Hong Min for making the event possible. And of course, thank you for the jacket. And the ever so delicious cake.

Well what do you know, the cake is not a lie.

Group photo, with the girls

Another group photo with Mr Lee, after the girls left

Some of the guys came over to my house. While these guys were playing DJ Max Portable 2...

... me and simon was on the comp, browsing some indecent pictures for Hongmin

And as usual, played l4d after the guys have left. Though ina had some problems getting into steam, played survival with Ricky, Riot and Karma, and well, let's say it wasn't the best combination of people to be put together. And when things get heated up, I was forced to end the game, lest things really get out of hand.

Sure, we were good... but still...

I have 3 drafts waiting to be finished. I'll get to them, don't worry. I shall try to keep updates more constant and frequent.

And of course, sorry to lj for not giving much constructive ideas on your paintings. And I've got some things to settle with a couple of people too... before I lose the chance. And... well, let's leave things till next time, shall we?

Life,
T

~Look back

2009-05-08T03:48:00.004+08:00

Hello.

As I yonder around town yesterday, I realise how... colourful the people are. I mean, I should've realised this ages ago, and I did, but I remembered today that I'm not going to see my friends in mayflower uniform in like ever again. I guess a uniform is more than an identity. It also brings about memories of the school you came from, doesn't it?

Remember this? It's dubbed "the best camp" by many. And frankly, I don't see why I've got to argue with that. It was a great camp. We're not going to have anything like it, ever.

And who can forget our lunch time concerts? Though some may say that the quality of LTC have degenerated, it's still a unique event. Looking back now, don't you wish you were there instead of rushing home to study for that test?

And of course, our beloved CCAs. Now you know why our seniors didn't pop up after they left Mayflower. Still, you have to say, they made quite a big impact on us, no?

Yes, if looking back, I have to admit I'd never treat my uniform as different from my other clothes. In fact, I might have despised it a little. I mean, it's basically like tagging us with numbers.

Some may still support the notion of abolishing uniforms in school, but truth to be told, our uniform will just be an insignificant piece of cloth, and only serve as a reminder of those days where we need not worry about global economy, swine flu and taxes.

Life,
T

PS to hm1 and hm2: gotcha =)

~Being first!

2009-05-07T05:44:00.004+08:00

Hello.

Now, before this video is posted throughout all, and I mean all the girls' blog, I'm just going to post it first, just for kicks.

Please, watch it in full HD on youtube. It's worth it.
EDIT: Oh and for those who wants the dance only version.

Life,
T

~The difference

2009-05-05T23:25:00.002+08:00

Hello.

So... where do you draw the line between art and porn?

I'm too lazy to discuss this, so I'll just let you guys ponder on that.

Life,
T

~I will be...

2009-05-05T20:59:00.002+08:00

Hello.

Recently I wiped my phone's memory stick without backing up some files. The result, I wiped my 'notes', which is basically my to-do list. So in my isolation I decided to make a new list.

Hmm... I don't feel like blogging today. Sorry.

Instead, I'm going to do a confession. In total, I've bought a total of 6 headphones (not earphones). I'm only using 2 of them, another 2 is shit, and the last 2 broke.

And as quoted by Zoey,

GAME OVER MAN GAME OVER

Life,
T

~They finally did it

2009-04-28T23:43:00.004+08:00

Hello.

So today, I downloaded and installed Windows 7. I have to say, I'm quite impressed. At first, it just looks like a buffed version of Vista. After using it for a while, getting used to the notification area and taskbar, it's a really great OS. I mean, this OS is still in beta, but I've yet to find any glitches whatsoever. Most drivers for Vista should work with Windows 7 too. I really recommend it to anyone who's still using Vista.

Windows 7 Ultimate RC, with windows aero

In other news, I'm going back Indo tomorrow for a few days. Basically, it's just to prevent the fuzz from breaking into my house and deport me. Plus side: I'll be using back my old sg number when I get back.

Well, I've got lots of drafts; lots of unfinished posts. I'll get to them, one day. Trust me.

Life,
T

~More shortcomings

2009-04-21T23:59:00.002+08:00

Hello again.

I have to admit, my life is in a bit of a mess right now. On one hand, I'm suppose to start a revolution, on the other I am shooting zombies and shout "PILLS HERE". I don't even know why I'm back, I mean, I'm going back indo by the end of this month. Heck, my life is so muddled up that I don't even know if I'm going to the states.

That's how messy my life is.

I will get them sorted out sooner or later. Preferably sooner, but there are some complications, so... we'll wait.

Remember a few months ago, when I went to talk to Marine Bay? Those who know me will know how much of a dog I am. I can drool at girls without noticing it myself. So, to prevent myself from getting distracted, I slap myself everytime I caught myself looking at girls. I don't know if it worked, but by the time I reach Bishan, there were barely any girls.

I don't know why I told you that, really I don't. But I've grown a whole lot since then, hadn't I?

Yesterday, I went to Orchard to buy some comics and other whatnots. On the way, I realise something. I finally found the most attractive, feature of a woman!

It's her smile.

No matter how beautiful, or how monstrous you may look, a true, genuine smile is the most beautiful thing you'll ever have. So smile more, it doesn't hurt, does it?

I remember when I was young (not that young), I told myself when I grow up, I want to be somebody who can make people smile. Because even then, I knew the most rewarding thing a person can give is a smile.

Shit, it's getting late.

Guys, please smile :)

Life,
T

~Shortcoming

2009-04-21T16:07:00.002+08:00

Hello.

Most of my programs, drivers, and other nasty bits are now freshly installed. Most, that is. Still waiting for l4d to finish.

Alright, I admit, I've been too busy with l4d. I will do a blog post soon.

Life,
T

~The thing about life

2009-04-13T23:40:00.004+08:00

Hello.

Today, I told myself I'm not perfect.

I mean, we all strive for perfection, no? We try to eliminate mistakes and imperfection from our lives. We try so very hard. If you were to encounter a genie, and you have 3 wishes, wouldn't those wishes be used to iron out the creases in your life? "I want to be richer", "I want immortality", "I want 3 more wishes".

But what's the point of doing so? What's the point of taking short cuts? I mean, the point of life isn't the finishing line, it's about the journey itself. If you were to take a short cut, wouldn't you be missing out on all the fun stuff? I said it before, the longer the wait, the better the satisfaction. The more effort you put into something, the better you'll feel that sense of achievement when you actually get it.

So my life isn't perfect. So I try to make it perfect even I when I know perfectly well there isn't such a thing as a perfect life. So, let's recap, why am I doing this? Because, medarlings, life is about the journey. So, remember, before you die, instead of thinking what's after death, think what you have done in life. It'll make you feel better.

I think.

Alright, time for some tech review.

2009 is the year of the netbooks. For those new in the tech department, the term netbook came from the portmanteau of the word "internet" and "notebook". Remember when notebooks first came out? When its purpose was to be portable, light, and have good battery life? Well, manufacturers screwed up that point and came out with other shit like desktop replacements, gaming laptops and macbooks. So basically, netbooks are the notebooks which we always wanted.

I have to admit, even though I love my laptop oh so very much, these netbooks attracted me like idiots to bear traps. So, I researched the netbook department for the last couple of weeks. The usual EEEs, Sony vaio P series, and, in my spotlight, the Samsung NC10.

Costing less than 500usd, this netbook has one of the best keyboards (most netbook has shittingly small keyboard), and it doesn't look that bad. Sure, bad reason, but still, comparing with the overpriced Vaio and the shitty keyboard of Eee, Samsung was a clear winner.

500usd! I can totally afford it. Too bad it isn't out in Singapore, and it's not going to for another few months. Rumours has it that it's coming out in the second quarter of 09, but ah well. Not the first time Samsung let us down.

Heil, 2009 - Year of the Netbooks. Screw you Linux!

Life,
T

~Borange

2009-04-11T03:39:00.003+08:00

Hello :)

I'd be lying if I said everything is fine.

But its amazing how a simple chat with friends can make all the bad things that had happened last week disappear...

Well, not exactly, disappear. Well, you get the point.

I'd so do this when I get married

I'd have to admit, I'm ashamed to call my parents "parents". I mean, some of you might agree with me, while others say that I'm just a rebel without a cause. Well, those who know me will know that I'm pretty rational when it comes to these things. Ah well, I'll leave them to be. They don't have much time left anyway >.>

Well, I'm actually quite surprised at how a simple hi from my friends can easily make my day. I mean, I pulled a long face through the 2 hour car ride. You will too, after you've gone through what I had the past few days. I felt like stabbing myself, then I realise it's not worth it and devised plans to stab them instead. When I came to the part on how to dispose the knife and body, somebody said hi to me on msn. Then, more and more came. And soon, I was too busy chatting than to think of a get-away vehicle. That's when I realise how important having friends are. I mean, sure, you can be a man on an island and still survive, but having your buds there just make it way more interesting and less depressing.

Well, I don't know when I'm going back Singapore, but I sure am looking forward to it.

This song is addictive

Life,
T

PS First person to tell me what borange is wins a prize.

~La Cheufer

2009-04-02T14:54:00.005+08:00

Hello.

I guess it's kinda funny how more people would want me to stay in Singapore rather than going back Indonesia later. I have mentioned numerous times how pointless it is for me to be there. I have nothing there.

In my past months, I taught many people lessons on mistakes, how we all make them, and we get better from them. These people are generally of a young age, and well, I don't blame them. Their lives will be filled with mistakes, and after each mistakes, they will be a better person. Everyone should learn from their mistakes. It's how we grow to a better person.

It's a bit funny how my parents, growing of age to their 50s and 60s, can't even identify their mistakes, let alone learn from it. The problem with people thinking they are always right is the fact that they refuse to listen to anyone of lower status than them. Even if they make a mistake, they would just ignore it or pretend it's not there. And these are people of their later years, mind you. They should be at their prime in the lessons and mistakes of life.

But it's these people who fails to realise their own mistakes, that they trouble the lives of others because of it.Arrogance, stubbornness, all these whatnots. If we don't learn from our mistakes now, they'll just accumulate till it's too much for one person, or even two, to handle. That's when the blow is dealt the heaviest.

A critical hit.

Life,
T

~Setting suns

2009-03-31T16:25:00.004+08:00

Hello :)

Estelle Featuring Kanye West - American Boy

Yesterday when my sis said I may be staying in the states all the way till my school starts, I have to admit, I was taking aback. I wasn't prepared to leave all I had in Singapore to go all the way to a country without knowing anyone. Furthermore, me living in the states for 3 months without school, it'll be a really lonely experience. I don't know anyone there, and no one knew me.

Then I look back to my past few months in sg. Aside from the typically random lunch meet, and msn, I barely had any interaction with my old classmates. And with more of my time spent online, on l4d, on maple, I get to know more people there. And now, I'm spending everyday with them. Though I still love my old friends, it is these new ones that keeps me sane these days.

So I guess with that, I assured myself that opportunities will definitely show itself. Everything is going to be fine. With every sad thing in life, there will always be a happy thing. And so, I pack my bags, and look at the distant sun, setting slowly into the clouds, and soon, the concrete jungle.

Life,
T

~Living dead

2009-03-31T02:47:00.002+08:00

Hello :D

I think I'm due for an update, no?

I apologize for the banner, there was some kind of coding anomaly, I'll get to it soon... I hope.

I've been playing mostly maple and l4d these few days. Maple in the afternoon, and l4d at night. I'm ashamed that I'm still playing maple, but it's the best way to kill time. And at night? Well, I met a group of people whom I've been playing with every night. Every game is fun with them :) I mean, how hard can you laugh in a game filled with zombies? Apparently, so hard that you'll have stomach cramps >.>

Alas, tomorrow might be my last game with them, as I'm going back on Wednesday, back to Indonesia. Apparently I've not payed my respects to my departed grandmother (father's side). And with my student pass expiring soon, it'll be a while before I can get back to Singapore.

I'm sorry I've got nothing good to write about. I've got a whole board full of em, but it's just, I don't know how to put them in words. I'll get to them one day...

...one day...

Life,
T

~Twilight

2009-03-27T17:01:00.001+08:00

A break, from all these serious stuff.

And for my dear V for Vendetta fans,

~Oh dear

2009-03-27T04:38:00.000+08:00

Oh dear oh dear oh dear.

Something is terribly wrong.

Oh dear oh dear. Oh dear.

Remember how I said everything was so messy? It still is. I mean, yea, I didn't really bother bout cleaning it up. I'll get to it though.

So... since everything is so messy, how can everything, in a matter of hours, just suddenly fall into place?

Oh dear oh dear...

Something is terribly wrong.

Life,
T

~The Fear

2009-03-25T21:09:00.000+08:00

Hello.

Statistics comfort people. Astonishing? No. Would you feel better if someone said "you may die tomorrow" or "you have an 20% chance of dying tomorrow". Of course, most would go for the latter. Uncertainty causes fear, and since logic removes uncertainty, logic removes fear. You won't be scared if you know what's coming, would you?

Logic and science governs the adult world now. Because of uncertainty is more dangerous when risks are involved. Global market, war, diseases. All of us are fearful of many things, especially these. As such, many people turn to science and logic to rid ourselves of such fears.

But whatever happened to our imaginations and dreams? Have they no longer fit in such a world? Remember, it was dreams and imaginations that drove Einstein to come up with general and special relativity. It was also the dreams and imagination of the Wright brothers and many others that force them to prove many people wrong, and making history by propelling man to the skies.

I'm not saying that there are no more dreams and imagination now. It's just... too little.

Way too little.

Life,
T

~Lifeless

2009-03-25T00:36:00.000+08:00

Hello.

Everything... it seems so messy right now...

I don't know, it's like, it's all muffled up, like crumpled paper.

I feel so lifeless.

Anyway, my dad is in Singapore for his US visa. I went to the airport to fetch him. The first thing he saw me, he shoved his luggage onto my hands.

I don't suppose it was a shocker for me. Everytime we went shopping, he would just give me all the shopping bags. It's not that I don't like it, though I can't say I do, it's just all these while, he thinks he's in charge without earning that right.

They say no one is born a leader. It is correct to say no one is born with a status. Just because you gave birth to me doesn't make you my mother. It's the nurturing, the lessons taught, and the guidance given that makes that person a mother. Sad to say, many people just don't get this point.

Everyone has to earn their keep. Do something great, and we'll respect you. It's not that hard, is it?

Anyway, I came across this quote:

It is nice to be important
But it is important to be nice

I don't know. I just don't see how it all relate.

Life,
T

~Prudent

2009-03-23T02:59:00.000+08:00

Ah... how I miss blogging.

As I excuse myself from the blogging community, I was able to concentrate on other things, rather than trying to find things to blog about. As pitiful as it sounds, I seek refuge in Maplestory, an old game, some would say, a fucked up one too. I have to agree, and disagree with em both. In there, I met many wonderful people, a few old friends, and ultimately, an invaluable learning experience.

During my absence, I adopted using Twitter, which is basically kinda like a blogging service, except that there's a limit of 140 characters. This limits the content, but also improve my summarising skills, and of course, makes me focus more on the main point, rather than the finer detail.

And this new blog. I have to say, it's not very well done. There's not much changes, as many would notice, from my old blog. New features, well, there's only two. New buttons, which I hope to change very soon, because these look like sh*t, and the banners. I say banners because there are more than one. Try refreshing the page, the banner should change. Currently, there's only 3 in circulation, so there's not much to see. I plan to add more in the future, but alas, time is not on my side.

Alright, let's get started.

I went back Maplestory because I want to restart. The last time I quit was because my character got hacked, the same way it got hacked the time before. I shan't elaborate. I want to accomplish goals which I've set during my previous gameplay, which is:

1) Get a zakum helm
2) Get to 120

Obtaining the first goal was harder than expected. Mages are fairly unpopular with the bossing parties because of their low dps. So, I opt for a private batch. This was another problem, because I lacked money. Thankfully, it didn't took long for me to find out there was an inflation of scrolls (valuable items). It didn't take me long to learn the prices, and well, manipulate them. I went back to my old roots of being a trader, in which I was easily able to earn 100mil in a single weekend. Now I was going somewhere.

Long story short, I manage to get my helm. I was lv105, leveling was freaking slow, and I spent more time dying.

Luckily, March holidays approached, and with it comes 2x exp event for a whole week. I knew if I wanted to get to 120, it would be during the 2x exp. So I trained. I trained madly. And in the end, I did reach 120. I was thrilled, I reached my goal, and now, I retire from maple, fully content with what I've achieved, and what I've not.

Now, many of you would assume that during this period of 3 and a half weeks, I became a mapletard, where I would train 24/7 without a care in the world. No. I still hold my stand at being a light-heartedly enthusiastic gamer.

Monster attack event

In the process of playing maple, the first person who entered my buddy list, ironically, was blard, or orrparr as he's called now, or ryan, as he's called in real life. Blard was guildmate of mine, 2 years ago, before I quit. He was always borrowing money. Ah well, his hard work paid off, though not rich, he has quite a few rich friends in his guild/bl. Alas, his attitude is still that of an 11 year-old.

Then I met scopelenz and Thunderbolt. They too are very old friends. I remember meeting them in the forums. Then, scopez, being a Survivor (TV show) fan, created and hosted the first Maplestory Survivor forum game. I signed up, and met him, and thunderbolt, along with others. Alas, the forum game didn't last long, but we still kept contact with each other both in msn, and in game. They're good people, mature, educated, civilised.

Lastly, and perhaps the most prominent people I've spent during this period, would be xin, lyn and kh. I spent most of my training with xin and lyn. I met xin through a thread in ppf, and has been training with him since. Lyn is xin's personal priest (I'm sure lyn will probably do something bad to me if she reads this), and also his girlfriend. Lyn is studying in melb, while xin, I presume, hadn't confirmed, is in sg with a job in robotics (cool yea). Kh, or aero, as I call him, well, he's friend of both xin and lyn. I met him through there. I don't know how to describe him well. Lyn misunderstand him, and well, xin is on lyn's side on this. Though, it's just a misunderstand, and constant batterment of bad luck and decision, aero is a good guy.

I learned a lot from these 3. I do, really, I'll post about them next time. Xin and lyn's relationship, lyn and kh's friendship, mistakes, obligations, confidence... I'm glad I met them. I enjoyed spending time with them, even though we're mostly grinding. They're good people. I'll miss them, definitely.

Wow... it's like I'm writing a good bye letter. Either way, I do hope we keep in contact. As for my fellow readers, I hope you'll stay with me on this blog. There'll be more new updates. My "break" gave me many, many inspirations, many insights, and I'll be posting em all. So stay tuned ^^

Life,
T

~Jest me

2009-03-03T01:05:00.000+08:00

Hello

This is how bored I am.

And I've finally submitted my first application to the Academy of Arts University. Though, it won't be valid till I send in the O level cert and the bank statement.

This is getting exciting :)

To Life,
Tommy

~A play with words

2009-03-01T23:24:00.000+08:00

Hello :/

I got lost in City Hall again. Not as bad as yesterday, but it's still embarrassing to get lost in the same place twice in a row.

I went to this American University fair today. I was late and missed the seminar, but the booths just opened when I got there. There weren't many schools there, but it was suffice. Took loads of pamphlets, and, well, I guess I have finally choose a major.

Graphic Design. Yea, that's what I want to do. Graphic design.

Actually, the only reason why I didn't choose it sooner was because I was scared I wasn't good enough, and I didn't have a portfolio for applications. So when the lady from the Academy of Art university said you didn't need a portfolio, I was relieved, and then, determined.

I'm gna aim for Academy of Art university! Though the odds of me getting in is pretty slim... but still... I've got to try!

So yea, today was suppose to be a good day and all. I mean, I've answered the question that has been bugging my mind since before the O level. I should be happy, you know.

But I guess I wasn't. Something else happened that pretty much damped my mood for the entire day. Ah well. Tomorrow will be a better day.

To Life,
Tommy

~MORFBOLL

2009-03-01T01:29:00.000+08:00

Hello.

Lily Allen's new album is my new favourite album >:

The Fear by Lily Allen

Yea, I got lost in City Hall today. Not that much fun. Popped in HMV and bought myself 2 albums, Lily Allen's "It's not me, It's you" and Lenka. Great artists btw, pick em up when you have the cash.

To Life,

Tommy

~Stravinsky

2009-02-27T03:41:00.000+08:00

Hello =)

Vodka and orange juice taste good together, you know?

I think some of you will know, I'm not a very big fan of anime. Couple of weeks ago, there was a commercial on Animax on Nodame Cantabile. I was swept away by it.

I didn't know what to expect.

I have to say. It's definitely not like Honey & Clover, where you can easily relate to it. In fact, it may not even be plausible when you compare it to real life, but still, it's a very heart warming tale.

And I have to say I may even start listening to classical music because of this. Any music lover should watch this anime.

To Nodame,
Tommy

~Twit

2009-02-24T22:07:00.000+08:00

Hello.

I'm currently twitting.

To Life,
Tommy.

~Do-oo-ood

2009-02-22T21:29:00.000+08:00

Hey dood.

Did you know what's the difference between a child and an adult, dood?

Children ask questions, while adults answer questions!

The only problem with adults is that they have somehow forgotten how to ask questions, dood.

To Life,
P. Tommy

~Misq'd

2009-02-19T23:02:00.000+08:00

Hello.

Finally got around in applying for those darn tests.

TOEFL's in March, while SAT is in May.

Ah well, all that's left is just those darn applications.

How hard could they be.

To Life,
Tommy

~Vivid-ing

2009-02-18T23:59:00.000+08:00

Hello :|

So yesterday, met up with Nita for lunch at Bishan. By lunch, I mean a meal at 3pm. It's been a while since I met him, so when he said I look "aged", it didn't really surprise me much. However, what he meant by "aged" is that I looked really worn out, which was kinda true I guess, due to the late nighters, and the fact I was sick for the last 2 days.

I may not have noticed it (don't really look at the mirror much), but I guess I feel that I'm worn out. I feel sleepy all the time, yet I can't sleep. Probably due to the stress-induced insomnia or something. But all these can be avoided you know. I choose to sleep late at night. I chose my life to be what it is, yet I didn't realise what was really happening.

So, I'm trying to have more consistent sleeping hours. Wake up early, try and get a jog/swim/gym, have proper meals and do other stuff other than playing games.

Gonna be hard, but the first step to a healthy body is a strong, healthy mind.

You know, sometimes I wonder if we really are young adults. We are all growing up right? It's a one way street, there's no turning back. It's just, some people tend to get stuck in the slow traffic, while other decides to pay the toll and take the expressway. Some enjoy the view, while others rush to the destination, hoping for something.

Life is something like that, you know. Like, each of us, driving our own car. And sometimes, when we are ahead, and a friend calls and ask for help with his broken tire, you're just too far ahead to help, you know? And as you carry on speeding towards the destination, the distance between you and that friend just keep getting further and further.

And you know what's the scary thing? You don't know what you're driving to.

To the road of life,
Tommy

~Indisposed

2009-02-15T21:23:00.000+08:00

Hello :(

Apparently, once the effects of panadol ran out, my headaches and fever came back rushing.

That's it, I'm not going to rely on panadol no more. Going to do it the old fashion way.

I'm going to sweat it all out! Yea!

So I'm like sweating like mad now. It doesn't feel good :(

You know, happiness and sadness are just two different intensities of the same thing? It's something like hot and cold. Both are just two intensities of temperature.

Basically, anything with a lower intensity (temperature) than 'hot', makes it 'colder'. It's basically just comparison. Temperature below our body temperature is considered cold, and higher than it is hot.

It's the same concept with happiness and sadness, though a bit more complicated. Basically, you can feel happy only when you've felt sadness. Unlike temperature, where the pivoting point is our body temperature, the pivoting point for happiness and sadness is not defined clearly, and is relative to each individual's experience.

With that said, you can't have 'absolute happiness'. Searching for 'true happiness' is also impossible. If your purpose in life is to be happy, you're actually saying your purpose in life is to be sad.

Cool concept huh? Makes you rethink your purpose in life.

There are still some flaws and loopholes in this theory. Moods are not as simple as temperature, where there are only 2 extreme points. There is still anger, jealousy (which may be a subset of anger, actually), and much more. And the pivoting point is still an issue. Though, the concept is still the same, emotions are basically just the different points in a same line.

Next post: We discuss about this 'line' further :)

To Life, and our emotions,
Tommy

PS This is to compensate my previous dictative post. The content is 100% original, have not consulted google on this issue. Tell me what you think of it.

~V-v-valentines!

2009-02-14T23:53:00.000+08:00

Hello :)

So I had perhaps one of my most crowded Valentines.

And they say Valentines is suppose to be spent alone with your loved one.

Well, day didn't start out really well, actually. Had this crazy headache/fever/muscle aches yesterday, so when I got up, I still had this headache and major grogginess, and my shoulder (blade) muscle ache like crazy! Not your typical sore, but more of like as if you tore it or something.

I was suppose to meet sabryna and co. at hougang mall at 1.30pm, for kbox, however, due to my pain, and the fact I had to wait for my delivery for my laptop cooler, I can only make it later, a lot later. Delivery was expected to arrive between 2 to 4.

Took lunch and a panadol (extra). It was so effective. Maybe that's because I had not taken a panadol in years. Muscle still ache like (shit!) though.

Anyway, at around 3, the delivery guy smsed and told me he can't deliver it today. Well fuck-a-doodle-doo. So much for being late for kbox. So I rushed, had a change of clothes, and quickly left the house. I had to meet them at downtown east, which is at pasir ris! That's over an hour by mrt!

In the end, I reach there in one and half hour, and got lost a bit, and met them somewhere near 5.

Well what do you know, I wasn't that late after all. They went for lunch and pool, so when I met up with them, they were just registering for a kbox room. Quaint. Wasn't that late after all.

Right, so Chee Chiang, Yuxi, Jer, Simon, hm, yt, sabryna, fy was there. 2 hours didn't do us much singing (Afternoon happy hour was only from 5 to 7). Plus, my aching muscle was killing me! Every time I move my left arm, that bloody muscle hurt like f*ck! And my headache is coming back. Good thing I brought an extra panadol.

(Yea, it's still hurting now)

After ktv, Chee Chiang, yuxi, jer and simon had their own valentines' day event at McRitchie. They left. The rest of us were stuck arguing on where to have dinner. We were at lost for over 20min.

In the end we decided to spend Valentines' (or what's left of it) at my house, and have Indomie (instant noodle) for dinner.

Instant noodle. Valentines dinner.

Quaint.

It took almost 2 hour to get to my house, as we took the wrong bus, ran out of ez link money, and had to walk.

So at my house, Sabryna was saying how the way she cook her instant noodles was way superior than mine. (She put the seasoning into the pot of boiling water, I put the boiling water to a bowl with the seasoning). So we had a cook off! How fun. Cooking instant noodles, on Valentines, for 7! people.

Couldn't take a shot of Ben, Cj and Emanto

I only manage to cook 2 bowls though, since she took all the other packets. And in the end, it was clear, my instant noodle was better :D Well how bout that, I cook better than a girl! :D

(Secret was, when she cook the seasoning with the soup, most of the flavouring didn't went into the bowls and was still in the pot, while mine was already in the bowl. Now you know ;))

After dinner, we browsed the web a little. The boys were too engrossed with some videos on youtube (sfw I think not!). The girls mysteriously snuck out and left! Well isn't that polite. I went out to check out , then suddenly saw Sabryna in the kitchen. Apparently she baked some cake, and was suppose to share with us, but kinda forgotten. So yea, she left, and in the end, the guys ate the cake.

So yea, I kinda ended Valentines day eating a strawberry cake with 5 guys. How romantic

Kinda spend v-day with loads of people this year. That's a total of 1,2,3,...11 people. 11! Definitely fun. :)

And again, thank you, sabryna, for the cake.

To Life, and Valentines,
Tommy

PS The delivery guy eventually came at around 10pm. And the cooler is amazing! CPU temps dropped by 15c!

PSS I'm hating myself for doing such a dictative post. I apologise.

~Remember-ed

2009-02-12T20:05:00.000+08:00

Hello

I remember one time, when I had this badass throat infection, I went to SGH (since the meds from polyclinic didn't work). I had to take this blood test. Anyway, they use this tube like thing, where they poke a needle and the blood automatically get suck into the small tube. I don't know if it was my low b.p, or was the nurse a rookie, but the blood just wouldn't come out. She had to re-poke the needle two more times before the blood would come out! Since then, everytime I get shots, I alway laugh, because I kept remembering that incident.

Yea, I went back indo for a couple of days to get my US tourist visa. I had to go through this interview with some American dude. He spoke english, that's always a plus. I didn't get what the big deal was. Everyone looked so nervous at the waiting room. Even my mom was more nervous than me, even though I was the one getting interviewed. She was like preparing me with all these questions the interviewer might ask. I didn't bother.

So when it was my turn, I just told him I was going to the states to visit my sister. And after confirming my name, and showing my s'pore visa, he said those magical words: 'Your visa will be ready in 2 days.'

I still didn't get why everyone was so nervous.

To Life,
Tommy

~Seventified

2009-02-08T00:10:00.000+08:00

Hello.

It's moments like this that reminds me of how lonely I am. Sometimes, I'd really love to actually just go to the past. The past... where I could see my friends everyday. Where the lessons were so boring I could actually sleep in class. Where there were teachers to guide us through life, even though you might not need guidance, you listen to them because it comforts you. Ah, where has those days gone to?

But yes, as the past remains the past, and the future remains uncertain, the present is all we have. As time passes slowly, I realise that I should really start to worry about my college applications. About my housing in the states when I get there. About the new life I'll be having. I'm never a big fan of change.

But as much as we dislike changes, it is the fundamental basis of life. To survive, we have to adapt, to change. We have to accept new perceptions of things, whether we like it or not.

Change can be good or bad, and sometimes both. How we cope with these changes all depends on how we perceive them. If you see them as side effects of a bad decision, they'll always be side effects of a bad decision. But remember, they can also be new opportunities.

Everyone is changing. It doesn't matter why you're changing. What matters is what you're changing to.

To Life,
Tommy

~Unexpected-cy

2009-02-05T20:27:00.000+08:00

Hello :D

So today, someone made my day, and I, unkowingly, made someone's day too.

Went to the the psychologist's again to get back my iq result. I was like o_o

Let's just say I scored pretty well... for someone my age. Anyway, the test comprised of 14 subtests. I got err... A1 for 12 of them, B4 for one of them, and E8 (!!) for another one. Yes, very inconsistent.

But when the values were all added up, calculated, and spit back out, I was rated "superior".

Whatever that means.

Nonetheless, that made my day. Made me feel a bit better, at least.

And yea, I also made someone's day. A stranger, actually.

Went to kinokuniya to get my monthly PCgamer + comics. At the cashier, one counter was closed. Then, a counter girl came and took of the 'closed' sign. It seems that the counter girl was a rookie. Looks like it was her first day (or week) or something. She asked if I was going to pay with big notes (easily means that the counter doesn't have small change, hence, it's closed).

Luckily for her, I did have exact change. The 2 counter guys beside her both smiled at her. One of them even 'clapped' softly. Haha. Apparently she manage to made a sale with the counter without change.

Ok, I've got to admit, recalling the incident made it less... interesting. But still, it made my day, and I bet it made her's too.

So, I ask, when was the last time you made someone's day?

To Life,
Tommy.

~Making Space

2009-02-04T23:42:00.000+08:00

Helllo :)

It's funny how many people are involved in getting this laptop. First, my sister for making the purchase. Then, vns, her laptop made me able to get the invoice. Then, Joshua, for helping me print the invoice. And last, Joseph, my ex-tuition teacher, for his suggestion of using cashcard to pay for it (they won't accept cash).

Yes, I am enjoying the laptop. I've never had a laptop with a resolution of 1680x1050, so yes, I'm at awe.

Just played the first chapter of Half Life2: Episode 1, to test out it's graphics. Everything on high, with x4 AA. It was stunning. I've always wanted to play HL2 on high, and finally, I have.

The keyboard, like I said before, is fantastic. It's very sturdy, and it gives a nice feedback with each key pressed. I really enjoy typing on it. One thing that bothers me is the Fn key though. It's located to the left of the Ctr key, which means sometimes when I want to press the Ctr, I'll accidentally press the Fn key. Will take time to get used to though.

The sound was... well, not really good. The location of the speakers causes many interference. However, like any good laptop user, always use headphones. And true enough, the potential of the sound card can be seen. Song quality is great, very crisp and loud.

One thing that troubles me, like vns's laptop, is the touchpad. It's positioned slightly left from the center. This causes my thumb to accidentally touch it when typing, causing the mouse to 'click'. Gets really troublesome. I read somewhere that there's a driver to enable/disable, and gives scrolling functions to the touchpad. I'm still looking for it though.

The design built is astounding. My temperatures is really great, even though I have not undervolted the cpu yet. GPU's idling at around 60-70, and climbs to around 80 when under stress. Highest I've seen was 84.

The design is very sleek and professional. The pictures of it in its website really make it look really bad, but the actual product looks... magnificent.

Anyway, I need help. Help me fill up my desktop! It's really empty, and it looks really weird.

And now, time to run a stress test overnight and do some undervolting to keep the temperature further down. I'm aiming for 30.

To Life,
Tommy

~Flawless...less

2009-02-04T15:31:00.000+08:00

:o

Just got my laptop.

It is GORGEOUS.

The screen is so vibrant, so large, so vibrant.

And the keyboard. Wow. It's just so amazing.

It's a beast with a the skin of a beauty.

I shall fiddle around with it. Will blog tonight (finally not on vns's laptop :x)

Bunch of programs to install, drivers to update, websites to bookmark.

To Life,
Tommy

~Cold Hard Cash

2009-02-03T18:52:00.000+08:00

Urgh.

Pissed. Utterly pissed.

What kind of organisation doesn't accept cold hard cash? The ICA, that's who. They expect their customers to pay in using fancy cards with magnetic strips. Jeez! Not all of us are eligible for your fancy cards!

And what's worst then your mom nagging you to quickly take the TOEFL test? When your dad is on the other line pressuring you to get your laptop ASAP. Jeez! Give me some space!

Pissed. Utterly pissed.

Give me a moment.

.
.
.

I apologise for the tantrum. I blame it on stress. Right.

Have you guys notice how... 'dull' the design of the blog is? I don't know. Minimalism isn't suppose to be dull. It's not that clean either. I need to clean it up. Hmm. I don't know if it's too early to start a new design. I already have an idea in mind... but I need to clean it. Yes. Clean my head, my ideas, and my room. I should start on spring cleaning.

Today isn't really a good day :(

To Life,
Tommy

~A Whole Lot of This

2009-02-03T08:55:00.000+08:00

Sky by Joshua Radin & Ingrid Michaelson

Hello again.

So while waiting for my cousin to wake up so I can attempt to use the printer, I guess I should let some stuff out so I can at least get a better sleep tonight.

If you hate the whole lot of whining, I suggest you do not read on.

You know, it never gets this lonely while in Singapore. While everyone is going to JC, I just sat at home and watch tv. I know that the laptop is going to arrive, so there's no point in wasting money to go to a LAN shop to apply for the tests. So for the past few days you can say that I'm really just standing still. I got no where to go, nothing to do, I'm just... bored.

Everyone's out, starting a new chapter in their lives. Meeting new friends, learning new experiences. It's true, soon, the past will just be the past. No matter how much we try to preserve it, you can't stop it from decaying, deteriorating.

Disappointments are a norm in my life. I've been disappointing everyone, even myself throughout my whole life. Don't you think it's apparent that I know I've disappointed you already? I know what I'm suppose to do. Just give me my own beat. I don't need people to rush me, to push me. Give me time and I'll get it done. Even if it's late and long overdue, I always, always, get it done.

For now, the only difference between Singapore and Indonesia is the fact that I don't have to endure their annoying insults over here. Mistakes are plenty in lives, you don't have to emphasize them and use them as insults. I can as easily identify my own mistakes and don't need you to actually aggravate it. Just, buzz off.

In truth, I don't even know what I want to do. It's not that I've not been thinking about it. It's just that I've been thinking about it too much, so much so that it actually manifests itself, and now, I don't even want to think about it anymore. I know each decision carries its own consequences, and sometimes I just don't want to bear those consequences. Give me time, I will learn how to cope with them.

And don't say I don't have time. I do. Deadlines are just dates. There is always the next deadline. And don't say I'm wasting my time/life. I'd rather live a short and happy life, rather than live a long, remorseful, stressful life. I don't want to die with a deadline.

I think I've said enough. Please help me make the contents of this post within this blog. There'll be no mention of it outside my tagboard.

Regards.

Tommy.

~Disappointment

2009-02-03T07:11:00.000+08:00

Hello.

I wonder how many of you still read this hunk of junk.

So for the past 3 days have been nothing but boredom. I sat patiently at home, waiting for my laptop. I kept the noise of the TV down because my doorbell was broken, and I wanted to make sure I could hear their knock.

Soon I just didn't think about it and when out to buy some groceries. More of just green tea, chips and orange juice. I don't know, I just started craving orange juice all of a sudden.

So anyway, yesterday night I couldn't sleep at all. It could be because I've been sleeping at around 2-3am the past few days and yesterday I 'forced sleep' myself at 11pm. I couldn't sleep, no surprise there. So I decided to check my mail. At this point you have to realise, I don't get many letters, so I rarely, if ever, check my mail.

Among the junk, bills, and wrongly sent letters, I saw one with my name, from Singapore Post! This could only mean one thing: My laptop! Hoorah! First thing I saw:

RE: NOTIFICATION FOR PAYMENT OF GST AND/OR DUTY (TR)

The date dated 30Jan. This letter has been sitting in my mailbox the entire time I've been listening to the TV at a volume barely audible?! Blasphemy!

Anyway, it seems I've got to bring that form, some cash, and an invoice of the laptop to their main office at Eunos (Eunos for crying out loud!). I don't have a printer, so I got to wait till printer stations are open before I can try and get the invoice printed. And so, I wait one last time for my laptop.

To Life,
Tommy

~The Red Day

2009-01-25T23:10:00.000+08:00

Hello.

Today (and tomorrow) is the day where we're all going to see red. Red dresses, red shirts, red tops, red undergarments, red packets, red lanterns, red fireworks, red, red, red.

It's making me a bit red too.

I just went to dinner with some of my parents' friends' family. It's a bit sad that the spirit of Chinese New Year is long gone from this age of time. It's all about 'keeping face', making sure you get more red packets than others, or something along the lines of that. I mean, just now, during dinner, my dad said, (roughly translated to english), "gave a motorcycle, got a bicycle". He's referring to the fact that he gave out 3 red packets, and I only got 2. Well jeez! Isn't red packets suppose to symbolise luck? You 'give' red packets, you don't 'trade' them. You shouldn't expect anything in return.

Well, in the end, the amount I got was more than the amount they gave, not that it matters to me, anyway. I never liked holidays spent with family.

Then there's also another matter. Ooh! This one is making me so pissed. So just before dinner, had a tiff with my parents. Kinda usual, but ah well, this made me have a very bad mood throughout the whole dinner. FFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKK!

Anyway, we had dinner with 2 other family, and both of them have daughters. Two of em were, well, not really my taste, but the third one was nice. As in personality-wise. I shan't indulge you on her appearance. Anyway, because I was still pissed with my parents, who were sitting beside me, I wasn't really in the mood till the later part of dinner, so I was a bit of ignoring her. Only got to know her when the dessert was coming out and dam, she is really nice. Too bad we had to split after dinner. Just... dam.

Alright, so this made realise one thing: I have got to keep my relationship with my family, in the family. I am so not going to screw an opportunity like this just because of them again. Right!

Also, I shall be a good 'samaritan' once every week. Do a good deed or something. This can be as simple as throwing the litter I see to donating 50bucks to the guy in the MRT underground pass. Or the blind twins/triplet/quads singer singing at woodlands, jurong, amk and other places. (Win said they're the same person, I say they're twins/triplets)

I don't know about you guys, but I never liked Chinese New Year. Other than the beautiful women wearing red dresses (why don't they wear it more often?), I don't really see much point in it. Heck, I usually donate a quarter of my money to some charity organisation. You know, one of those boxes in the airport.

Ah well. Just plain dam.

To Life,
Tommy

PS For the lots of you who read my blog before having lunch, there'll be an eclipse tomorrow (26th Jan). Those who live west of jakarta (That means you, Singapore. Don't know about thailand), you can see it. Check google for timings. Sorry america, none for you this time.

~The New Skin

2009-01-23T01:50:00.000+08:00

Hello.

The new skin, well, it gives a whole new meaning to simplicity, doesn't it.

Anyway, it's not done yet, I'll have to get my hands on photoshop to finish it up. Other than that, I think the main concept here is obvious: minimalism. I think the drop down menu to access the actual entries will be good, so that you won't have to load 7 entries just to see if there's a new one. I try to have as little content as possible, so as to make it as slow-connection-speed-friendly as possible.

As of date, the skin is 85% done.

Anyhoo, please give your feedback on what you think of the new skin at the tagboard.

To Life,
Tommy

~Darharhar

2009-01-20T22:41:00.000+08:00

Hahahaha

Wow. Don't know why, but Jakarta is so gloomy. Total opposite of this morning. The dusky smog-filled air, the hitchhikers at the roadside, the totally crazy ass traffic jams. Ah.

Then, got home, got onto /b/, wow! Now I remember why I love that place so much. Been laughing and smiling ever since.

9 days before I go back. I've got my psp (with Disgaea and Dj Max Portable 2, a book (How to Kill a Mocking Bird), 100 Sudoku puzzles, and a bunch load of m&m. So yea, I think I'll do fine.

Till later

To Life,
Tommy

~mornings

2009-01-20T11:42:00.000+08:00

Hello!

I've forgotten how beautiful the morning is. Back when I was in school, I got to school when the sun was still sleeping, and sunrise was always spent inside that frigid hall. The weekends, well, I always get up at around 11, so that morning beauty was long gone.

So I woke up at around 8 today. The air was so... fresh. the morning mist humidify the cool air, making every breath so very refreshing. The rising sun, making it's way up to the top of the sky, lay it rays to the pool, making the nearby palm trees glow from the reflected light.

Ah, how beautiful this Tuesday morning is.

I wonder how many of you still bask in the beauty of every single day. Whether it's mornings like these, or when the sky drizzles ever so lightly while you're speeding your way down East Coast. Beauties like these are overlooked as we get older, wiser, busier.

So, when I ask whether you'd live a short and eventful life, or live a long and mindane one, I was thinking I'd get a mix of answers. But if we were to seek a short and eventful life, why do we grow up? As we grow, we forsake those beautiful things which makes life so wonderous. So isn't it actually better to spend a week, not working, but instead, enjoy life?

But, alas, humans have a built in mechanism that tells us we must live to have sex/reproduce. And so, that's what we'll do. We'll continue to work our ass off so that we can get our paycheck at the end of the week, so that we can spend it on necessities to survive the next week of mundane and tiresome work to get through the week after.

And now, I bid farewell. Will be going back Indonesia.

Cumbersome.

To Life,
Tommy

~Remorse?

2009-01-12T23:59:00.000+08:00

One... two...

three...

Hi.

So, our O level results just came out today.

I don't know, I've got ten days worth of things to blog about and yet, I chose the O level results.

Let's start from the top.

Hello!

The past ten days have been filled with me distracting myself of the terrifying yet inevitable, the day we get our results day. Win wasn't back till the 11th, and vns till the 10th, so I was stuck here without nothing. Literally nothing.

Well, I got out with other friends. Went to Ben's club at Seletar, along with hongmin, ken and of course, ben. Played bowling, pool, ping pong (always love to say that), and a bit of arcade. Hongmin's smart idea of skipping lunch left us starving till we decided to take a cab to compass point to have "high tea". Our "high tea" was nothing more than just hotdogs. Then, went all the way to dhoby to watch a movie. Nothing nice was on. More precisely, nothing nice that we've not watched was on. We decided to try and sneak to an M18 movie, College. Alas, the sales attendant requested for ICs, which we denied their requests and politely excuse ourselves from this fit of embarassment. Dang! We've been busted!

As teenagers, we never give up so easily. We tried to get this ang moh to buy the movie tickets for us. He looked at us with this 'you want me to commit a crime?! Outrageous!' look. In the end, his girlfriend(?), an indian, helped us out, and manage to got the tickets. And they claim that ang mohs are more open-minded than asians eh?

Well, things didn't really go very well. Dinner was somewhat overpriced, with undercooked vegetables, and we got busted right at the theater door. Dammit! They didn't use to check ICs at the theater door! In the end, we ended watching Will Smith's worst movie yet, Seven Pounds. Either that really is the worst movie, or the experience with the darn IC checkers left me in a dampen mood.

Another day was spend with hongmin, and this time with simon and you yue too. Went dhoby (again), e2max at the Cathay, to play Left4dead.

And among the whining of you yue, complaining on why he kept dying, hongmin's disconnections, the rat-tat-tatling of the uzi hitting the tanker's somewhat impenetrable skin, we had a great time. It was hong min's and my first time playing l4d, and I've to say, it's one of the better co-op games. Of course, being a co-op game, it stresses a lot on teamwork, so I've got no idea how you're going to play it without a mic to communicate.

Also, a few days back, I bought myself a psp!

I bought it for 3 reasons.

1) To keep myself entertained in these really really boring days.

2) I've still got that 100$ takashimaya vouchers that I've no idea how to spend.

3) It's a game console, music player, video player, web browser, packed into one (somewhat) tiny package. What reason is there not to get one?

So yea, I got this white coloured slim and portable one, the PSP-3006pw. It came with one pouch and one game, so I got myself the Disgaea: Afternoon of Darkness. I have to say, it kept me entertained during the dullest moments of the past few days, usually during bus and mrt rides. Don't usually play it at home though, perhaps before I go to bed or something. Probably going to mod it so it can play games off the memory stick. Sure, call me stupid to get the unmodded one, but I prefer to do it myself so I can learn, rather than getting other people to do it for me.

Bit embarassing to admit but I only manage to figure out how to browse the web with that contraption only today. Singnet's crappy DNS, combined with 2WIRE buggy router make things really difficult :/

So yea, amongst the zombie killing, psp playing, and taking an IQ test for the kicks of it (no really), so came today. Basically, as we all sat in the hall, waiting for the results, I started to bite my lips. I was aiming for an L1R5 of at least a 10. So, when the screen to show who scored below 10 for L1R5 came, I frantically looked for my name, and it wasn't there. Only the expected ones, vns, stephenie, youyue, yong qing...

I bit my lips harder.

As they showed the results compared with national average, the thought struck me, the thought that I've been trying to push away whenever I thought about my results. The thought that perhaps I didn't get a 10 for my L1R5.

I could taste the blood of my bleeding lips. Funny how it didn't hurt that much.

So yea, my heart sank to the lowest it has ever been. I was sad, remorseful. I mean, it wasn't that kind of sadness where you wish to cry. It was just that, disappointing sadness, when all hopes are lost, when there's no point crying anymore.

Sure, many too didn't get the results they want. And I comforted them. I was one of the last ones to get my results, so I spend quite a bit of time looking at the tearful, joyful, and well, blank faces of my schoolmates.

And when it's my turn, I didn't even bother. I just took one quick glance of the result slip and put it away. Those ugly numbers were enough to send my hopes to its deepest pits.

So I distracted myself by hanging out with win, simon, hm, ky, cj and tony. Didn't help much.

I decided not to go to Simon's house to hang tonight, because I know I've got to deal with this alone. A bit of alone time.

And I did. I mean, I looked at the result slip again, and hey, I didn't do that bad. Among the ABBAs, there weren't any Cs. Sure, among the one, two and threes there was that ugly four. But hey, that's that. And as I type this, reminicsing the times I spend with friends in the past few days, I realise, it's not the end of the world.

I find it ironic in the fact that before I came to school that morning, I told myself: No matter how much you get, you should make use of it to get to where you want to. There's no point sulking on how much you wish you could've gotten. You didn't, and that's that. You've got what you got, and you gotta make full use of it if you're going to get anywhere.

So there you have it. Again, I thank vns for lending me her laptop again. I know it gets outrageous at times, but yea, thank you.

For now, I shall patiently wait for my laptop, with my psp by my side.

To Life,

Tommy

PS Fireworks videos from new year:

More here

~2009's Resolutions

2009-01-02T22:43:00.000+08:00

Whoops I forgot all about my resolutions. Haha.

1) Learn to ride a bicycle
2) Make at least 5 people in your life happier
3) Change my attitude for the better
4) Get into a good college/university in the states
5) Do things at my own pace, your own timing, don't rush

Erm, I guess this is it for now. Probably will add more, but well, you don't have to announce your personal goals, right?

To Life,
Tommy

~2009

2009-01-02T20:58:00.000+08:00

Hello.

2009, a fresh start. Well, technically, not really that fresh, but still, a start.

It's the first day of school for lots of people. Starting to miss those days. The days where you rush into the new classroom, trying to hog the best seats. The days where you get re-acquainted with friends whom you hadn't met in 2 months. Ah, those days are over. Instead, I'm sitting here, thinking when the O Level results will be released.

It's these worrying times, where you know that the results will be released within 2 weeks, but you just don't know when. And in your head, you thought of the different scenarios that might happen. Oh, what if I didn't do so well? Or what if I did too well? Haha, we all have some pretty wild imagination sometimes.

So, while I was out to buy some food (Lays' and Green Tea, yum), I started to see what they mean by the fact that Singapore is having an aging population. I mean, I never thought of it much. Sure, I used to see old uncles and aunties at the hawker center, or at the supermarket, or walking his dog down the pavement, or riding a lamborghini with some hot chick at the passenger seat, but I never really took notice, I just took it for granted. Then I went back Indonesia, and came back again, I realise that, wow, Singapore sure have lots of old people. I guess I've stayed here a bit too long, I forget what the outside world looks like. Without another country to compare the amount of old people, I would never had noticed that the problem is slowly becoming a crisis. Imagine, a country totally run by old people. That is what Singapore is becoming!

My sister is going back to the states tomorrow, along with her laptop. That means I have got to wait for my sister to deliver my laptop back here, which will be quite a while. In the meantime, I'm stuck here, without a computer, and a relatively speedy internet connection.

Wintersday is almost over, along with all the crazy sales going around the internet. Then, it's back to spring. Well, it's back to the hectic life of students for most youngsters. And as for us oddballs who are waiting desperately for the O's results, well, I think it's time to do some spring cleaning. When was the last time you tidied up your room? And don't give me the I-have-got-a-maid-to-do-that crap. I'm watching you.

To Life,
Tommy

~2008! You Will Be Missed :(

2008-12-31T22:58:00.000+08:00

Heyhey.

About an hour till 2009 in Singapore, so it's about 2 more hours here.

So yesterday was fun. Probably most fun I had this holiday. Went out with Jess and Vns at Plaza Indonesia/eX (they're connected). Was like 30min late, due to traffic/detours. In the end, I met up with them. Ate at pepper lunch. We had like an hour to kill before the movie, so, I suggested we do secret santa.

So, I tore the Pepper Lunch receipt to 3 pieces and wrote our names on each of the pieces, crumpled em up and ask the girls to pick one each. Then, we would each go our separate ways and buy a present to the person whose name was on the piece of paper we picked. We limit ourselves to 100,000rp, and would meet back at the meeting point again in 30minutes.

Well, I bought mine, and arrived at the meeting point on time. Vns was already there, Jess was no where in sight. Well, apparently, after waiting and waiting, Jess was half an hour late! When she came back, we decided to go to the movie first, since it was starting. Watched Madagascar 2, again, but still, it was pretty funny.

After the movie, we sat down and exchanged our presents. Turns out Jess got 2 presents, for both me and vns, that's why she was late. And it was wrapped too! Made me feel ashamed of my unwrapped one :(

Well, we soon grew bored, and decided to go bowling or pool, whichever is cheaper. In the end, we played bowling, then pool. Haha, oh god, did we suck at both of them. My score was like jumping around, from 0 to 4 during the first 3 rounds, then got strike, made it jump to about 20, then go back to bitting the gutters. Then at the last round, got a strike again ._. Twas fun, really fun. And pool was equally hilarious! I've only played it once, and well, I pretty much suck at it. Took us forever to finish the game. But in the end, we ended on time.

It was nice, you know, to play with friends who aren't really good at the games you're not good with. That way, even if we make a fool of ourselves, we'll be fools together. Wait, that doesn't sound right. Haha. Oh well.

So thank you, to both of you, for making my holiday.

Today was... not really a nice day. Seeing how it's New Years' Eve, it pretty much blows when I spend it with my family. I don't know about yours though. I won't elaborate, but yea, today just made me hate my family even more. Heck, it's probably why I'm here, writing this blog post, rather than hanging with my friends or something. Ah well, it's been like this yearly. Looking at my last year's blog posts, I went through the same thing. So it should be alright.

So, like last year, I'll be sitting at my balcony looking at the fireworks my neighbour is setting. I have my beloved headphones with me this year. Fireworks are really noisy you know, my headphones will flood them with the new Gorillaz album I just bought a couple days ago.

So how was 2008? I'd say it's a very nice year. I mean, at the beginning of the year, all these new teachers came, and by June/July, they became our best friends for the coming O's. And the few months before O's. Wow, studying with friends at the library everyday? I've never really studied so hard before o_o There were definitely many good memories, Teachers' Day, the beach outing. And I even manage to walk to Marina Bay without a map, on foot! That's definitely one of my biggest achievements.

2008 was a very enriching year. I can't say it's been a happy one, but it's definitely enjoyable. If I've got to go through it again, I won't mind, but as long as my friends are there with me again. 2009... will be different. With me going overseas - again, it's like I'll be back to square one. It's like when I moved from Indonesia to Singapore. But hey, being in Singapore, I've made so many friends, gotten so many experiences. Maybe it'll be the same, you know. The grass may just be greener on the other side!

Happy New Year guys. I'll look forward to 2009. New Year Resolutions will come next year, when I think of some. Haha. Rightio, see you guys in the coming year!

Cheerio!

To Life,
Tommy

~Boom

2008-12-27T15:57:00.000+08:00

Hello.

I heard quite a number of people had a nice Christmas. That's nice to hear.

Finished reading Sugarbabe. I have to say, it's a good read. Despite it's slutty looking cover, it's really very informative.

Holly Hill (pseudonym) gave up her job at the behest of her wealthy boyfriend - and then found herself dumped and penniless. After spending six weeks in bed pining for her lost love, she was encouraged by a friend to be 'open-minded' about her career choices - and ended up placing an online ad for a sugar daddy. She received an almost overwhelming response from all sorts of men, but most of them were married men whose wives had lost interest in sex. As Holly interviewed the men and settled on a candidate, she decided to record what happened next. Those almost-daily observations became a journal documenting Holly's extraordinary experiences - not just the men she meets, but the things she finds out about marriages, in particular, and what men need from them. Sugarbabe is her real-life account of the emails, meetings, employment of and interactions with the applicants for the role, and the five men she eventually chooses (not all at the same time!). It is by turns funny, enlightening, challenging and thought-provoking.

Ok, that was a bit long. Anyway, the book discusses a lot of issues, such as monogamy, cappucino-toned argentian, marriages, open-mindedness, and among others, being a sugarbabe. I have to admit though, this book is definitely not for my age group. Though I understand most of what it tries to convey, I can't seem to relate it much to my life. It's mostly targetted for older men/women, and married couples. Even with that, it's a good book to read, plenty of humour. Will definitely recommend it to others.

great dj - the ting tings

The Ting Tings are having a concert in Singapore! Well, I've been listening to The Ting Tings for a couple months now, on my headphones. It's perhaps the reason why I'm still sane after spending so much time with my parents. Their indie music is really cool, you should definitely get the album, We Started Nothing. It's available in most major music stores, so it shouldn't be that hard to find. The tickets cost a bomb though, 75 bucks per ticket. Well, it's 50 bucks each for students, but minimum purchase of 2 tickets. So if any of you chumps wanna go to their concert at fort canning on the 13th, do tell me :)

To Life,
Tommy

~It's Christmas today

2008-12-25T18:43:00.000+08:00

Heyho,

It's Christmas today.

Christmas, it might not be perfect, but still, it's a special holiday.

Throughout all the holidays in the year, I always regard Christmas and New Year to be the most special. I usually spend these 2 holidays alone. Last year, I spend New Year staring with amazement at the fireworks exploding so closely to me, while the rest of my family is asleep. I find it a blessing, for I know I'd have hated it if my mom or dad wakes up.

As lonely as it sounds, spending these special days alone counts as a blessing. To many people, these holidays may be their chance to get together with their families, but to me, it's to escape from them.

So, when I didn't get to relax at the beach, reading Sugarbabe (it's a book, a very nice one, will review it when I finish it), while listening to The Ting Tings on my headphone, alone, I was kind of disappointed. But, in the end, I spent it by eating 2 whole chicken for lunch, and spending the afternoon relaxing at the sky terrace, reading Sugarbabe, while listening to The Ting Tings on my headphone, getting a bit of tan, and swimming 6 stories high on the top of a hill. Though not alone, my sister was with me.

And it was nice and relaxing, you know, at least I've got half the holiday I wanted. You have to admit, you never get what you want, and getting at least half of what I wanted is actually good enough.

So how did you spend this holiday? Whether it's curling up in front of the fireplace with your family, drinking hot cocoa, or having a big dinner with friends, exchanging gifts, or playing secret santa with your colleagues. It's all good.

Have a blessed and merry christmas, for you and your loved ones.

Cheerio!

To Life, and it's holiday fuzziness,
Tommy

~Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T01:12:00.000+08:00

Heyho!

Merry Christmas
&
A Blessed New Year

Bless your loved ones
With the greatest joy

For it's a merry Christmas
With stockings filled with toys

Make a wishlist
Send it out

For Santa is coming
In the haze of clouds.

To Life, and other holiday fuzziness,
Tommy

PS Lousy attempt to make a christmas poem. Bah D:

~Tis The Season

2008-12-23T21:48:00.000+08:00

Hello.

So sorry about yesterday. I'm not usually like that. It's just that, stress does that to you sometimes.

It's the festive season! I'm sure everybody have noticed it. Whether it's the decorated streets at Orchard or the daily caroling at various shopping malls, everyone is hyped up over christmas, and a new year.

I'm no exception. Will be spending Christmas in Bali this year, and as wonderful as it sounds, it's not very, seeing how it's with the family. Oh, how I wish I could just lay down on the beach alone, finish Sugarbabe, while enjoying the view of the fine, fine tourists. So very fine.

And of course, it won't be Christmas without presents! I'm not expecting anything this year, so I'll just make a 'Things I would love to get but I know I won't get' list.

-My laptop by Christmas (not gonna happen)
-Alone time at the beach (may happen, most probably not)
-Spend the countdown of New Year drinking champagne alone in the balcony, looking at fireworks (Oh please let it happen >:)
-A Vespa, those older more vintage models (One can wish, can't he?)
-A girlfriend (Yep Hongmin, been thinking about it, and you're right, I should get myself one. Let's hope Santa brings one to me, eh?)
-Play cards with the buds (Because drinking champagne alone gets lonely sometime)
-Bless everyone a happy 2009 (Because wishes are more meaningful when it's not for you)
-A miracle (Because everyone wants one, right?)

So there you go. Of course, I'll also be making New Year Resolutions for 2009. But that's for another time. For now, let's review those of 2008 shall we?

-Smile more
I don't know how to review this. I guess I did smile more at the beginning months, but it soon eroded away as O's start coming in

-Do better in my studies
I think I fulfilled this one, definitely. My grades have improved, as compared from last year. So yea, I'd say, resolution resoluted!

-Try to get a 10 or below
I don't know yet, results will come out in Jan. But, from my prelims, which I got a 10, I think it'll look good.

-Decide to leave or stay
LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE. Oh god, I was wondering why I doubt myself last year.

-Try and get a job
Tried, yes. Got, no. Oh wells. At least this one is half way resoluted. There's still next year.

-Draw more :D
Comparing the amount of sketches and drawings I made from this year and last year, I'd say I did more last year. But in terms of quality, this year's beats last year's hands down.

-Watch less porn/fap less D:
Definitely there's a decrease. I don't know if this is something to be proud of though. Haha, at least I fulfilled this one :D

Ok! That's about it. Most of the resolutions are resoluted, I think.

I wish everyone a festive Christmas! Have fun with your friends and families, and remember those mistletoes!

To Life,
Tommy

~Pineapple

2008-12-22T23:05:00.000+08:00

Hello.

Here be one of the best scenes I've watched on TV this holiday. Just to lighten up the mood before I drown you all in nonsensical ramblings.

Here I am, forced to come back to Indonesia against my will, and then being treated like a pampered dog here. And I'm not exagerating. I'm being asked to carry the bags, buy the cigarettes, help him fetch this and that, and for what? For food and money. Jesus! I'm being degraded to such a piece of trash!

My father said the fact that it's so easy to make money in Indonesia is because the people are stupid. They're easy to manipulate. He kept rambling on how you can easily order people around as long as they get paid. And in America, everyone is smart, and it's hard to earn money. I have a feeling that he doesn't allow me or my sister to get an american girlfriend/boyfriend is because he fears that our partners may be too smart, so smart that he might get scammed out of or manipulated. His fear have caused my sister to broke off with Jason, and even I can see it has made an impact on her.

He said before too, that it's such a blessing to live in such a country that as long as you have got cash, you can live a cushed life. I don't want this cushed life. I want to live out there, in the unknown, and make a living for myself, slowly but surely, establish a life on my own. He may be happy here because he earned the money from scratch, and thus he feels a sense of achievement everytime he waste his money. While I on the otherhand, will just feel more and more worthless. That is why I want to get away from it all, you know.

Then there's also the pressure. I mean, it's the holidays, right? I'm feeling more pressure than I did during my O's. My father, mother, even my sis, they all keep asking me what I want to take in college, or what's your plan for college, when are you taking your SATs/TOEFL. I'm already splitting my head over this fucking thing, I don't need people to keep reminding me. And with a freaking dial up connection how the fucking hell do you expect me to check the schedule? And he still ask me to stop using the internet too long, as the price is freaking high. With speed of 54kbps, how the hell do you expect me not take at least 2 hours to just even find out the dates of these exams?

And then there is my mother. Oh god. She is such a fucking bitch. I mean, sure, some of you may say I'm a teenager, it's just a phase. That's the whole freaking point! I'm a teenager! I need my freaking space. I want to be independant, but how the fuck can I be this bitch expecting me to treat her like a queen. You know, I can actually feel myself happier when she's not around, because I know I don't have to listen to her yelp like a shitzu. I really hate her. Really I do.

Have you seen those videos on youtube where when animals in a zoo are stressed, they walk around in circles, or bang their head against their cages? I'm banging my head against the wall very so often. It's how stress and depressed I am this holiday.

Every single holiday it gets worst. As I discover myself more, as I yearn for more independance, the stress increases when I get trap in this hell hole you call Indonesia. Fuck that, I'd rather stone at home in Singapore. At least I can go out without getting lung cancer from the traffic.

Remember the day when I went out all the way to Marine Bay on foot? That afternoon, I was so depressed I actually wrote 8 pages worth of suicide note. Inside, I didn't lie, I let everything out. It was so good. I felt so motivated that I went on that walk. I didn't throw away those notes.

I read on a friend's blog that parents shouldn't let their children be expose to so much experience, so that they won't have such a tough time choosing what they want to be. I agree with her wholeheartedly. I mean, I enjoy drawing my cartoons, and would love to pursue it further, yet I enjoy philosophical debates too. I enjoy science and how nature works as much as the other two. Yet, all my interests are so diverse that I have a really hard time focusing on one. That is why I'm splitting my head over choosing a college major.

I don't even know why am I even here. I'd rather be much happier spending Christmas and New Year in Singapore. I have no friends here, I have to go through all this shit alone, and my dad, he'd rather waste his time playing golf and betting on soccer, and my mom, neither me nor my sis would want to be around her when her mouth opens.

I'm sorry guys, I'm just really, really stressed. Like, I-want-to-kill-someone-just-to-make-myself-less-pathetic kinda of stress. I think the clinical word is depression.

I'll be back tomorrow with a christmas post, since I won't be blogging on christmas.

To Life,
Tommy

~Lavennito

2008-12-20T23:43:00.000+08:00

Hello.

If you've ever been to Jakarta's airport, you'll realise there are a lot of trees, trees with little or no leaves, on the side of the road. As I watched them from the inside of the car, the rows and rows of trees, it makes me feel as if it's autumn. So warm and comfy.

Then I realise, the trees are probably dead. Ruined the whole picture.

As insignificant as that sounded, it does sound a bit of an analogy. Would you blind yourself from the truth and live a life with as little sorrow and negativity as possible, or face the reality, but knowing it may be ugly?

Socrates once said,
An unexamined life is not worth living
So, by my analogy, the examined life may be worth living, but it sure is ugly.

Living an unexamined life doesn't have to be a meaningless one. I guess it's just how we live life, and establish a meaning for it on our own.

Then again, staring blankly at rows and rows of dead trees doesn't have that much meaning either.

I'm going back 4chan. :(

Regards,
Tommy

~Prude Crumbs

2008-12-18T22:55:00.000+08:00

Hello.

There was once a couple who took 265. Back then. Back in January.

They were from Anderson Sec. They're a sweet couple. Not those mushy wushy type, but more of a mature and knows the boundary of a public bus kind of couple. Everytime I boarded the bus, I'll always see them, sitting together. It makes me smile somehow. I don't know if it's the way they look, sitting together, or may it's their way of making their relationship not so obvious, just like a normal relationship in a conservative asian community.

It's nice to see them, you know, so happy.

What is it about asian communities which makes dating at the teenage years such a tabboo? I mean, most parents I see respects tradition so much. In Singapore, it's not that uncommon to see teenagers dating. However, there are still a handful of parents who prohibits their teenage children from dating. Take my mom for example, she thinks I'm far too young to date.

Then, when I came back to Indonesia, people kept asking me whether I've got a girlfriend. They ask as if it's a norm for people my age to have a girlfriend. And it seems like it is a norm over here. Even my dad proclaimed he had already dated 5 girls when he was my age.

It could be because that over here, the malay community tend to date and marry at a young age in the past, and since my dad is a local he's subjected to that too, while my mom, who studied all the way in Taiwan, harbored the traditions and think dating at the teenage years is wrong.

But as the modern times creeps up on all of us, we realise that children are getting more and more impulsive on their decisions. It is not uncommon to have crushes during puberty years, but people in the past chose not to pursue these relationships as they deem that studies are far more important, which is true. And today, many adolesence are dating whomever they like, without thinking of the future.

While I may support dating during the teenage years, as it brings many experiences that will definitely benefit you in your future relationships, I feel one must know how to balance their lifestyle. Dating is considered optional now, and it is true in the fact that studies are more important now, much more important than dating.

It is good to follow up on the times, and adapt and change accordingly. But one must never forget to prioritise the wants and the needs. As society evolves, the thin line between wants and needs are forever blurred, and you must know how to see it to make the best of you.

As for me, I'll leave dating to another time.

To Life,
Tommy

~Cation!

2008-12-15T15:23:00.000+08:00

Heyho!

It's really quite dull here. I mean, I've got no friends to hang with, so I'm stuck at home with the TV. Laptop ain't no help, it's too pathetic to run any programs. I'm trying to play some games with no$gba, yet, it's still running to slow to be played. Ah wells.

I'm watching a boy with gigantiform cementoma getting high with pain killers. Queer.

I've been taking driving lessons to kill time here. 3rd lesson today, all 3 lessons had different instructors.

Let's see, first one was cool. He's lively and everything, kinda like him. He never let me go past the second gear. Kept asking me to slow down. Jesus, we were maxing out at 30km/h.

Second one... well, he suck. I mean, he speak with this droning voice. Kept swearing at him in english under my breath. Apparently, he doesn't understand them, as he kept asking me to slow down. At least he let me go to the third gear.

Third one was better. Not as lively as the first, but still, he tried his best. Went a bit faster this time, up to 50km/h. But I have to say, driving around small roads with traffic jams for two hours everyday is not fun.

It's kind of sad here, I mean, I've got no friends at all, and every night I spend dinner with 40-50 year old people. And I just sit in a corner and play my pokemon on my handphone. Sure, they do attempt to strike up a conversation, but still, how much can we talk, with my limited Bahasa Indo, and the amount of topics that a 16yo and a 50yo can talk about.

Things I've learned from this trip? Trust everyone. Just don't trust the devil inside them.

To Life,
Tommy

~Recount

2008-12-12T02:18:00.000+08:00

Hello mildews and maldews.

Tried blogging the way I did in my old blog. You know, that camwhore post thing. I guess I lost my touch. :/ I don't know, but it's just not there anymore. Maybe I became mellow or something. I don't know.

I guess this is normal, you know. People change. Looking back at the beginning of the year, there are so many changes. Remember when everyone in school was in camp, while the graduating classes are having these 'job talks', except these talks were so freaking boring we actually played cards, some took naps, and no one actually listened. I don't know if any of us could actually recall anything from these talks.

Then there were new teachers too. Teachers that we learn to love and care as they guide us through the tough journey of being a sec 4. I still remember I was so worried that almost everyone in my class have finished their ten-year series while I barely touched mine. It's from these experiences that we learn.

And not only in studies, I'm sure that being a 16-year old also affected our life outside of school. I grew almost 10cm this year (not as much as last year), and now, when I'm back in Indonesia, all my relatives just keep saying how tall I am, and how thin I am. As much as many people think that being called 'thin' is a compliment, it's not to me >:

I'm sure that this year - our sec4 year, will be a very memorable year in our lives. Whether it's the graduation party, or prom, or just the many memories and experiences, we've all touched each others in our own special ways.

And... I've no idea why I didn't type this for graduation day. Ah well, as long as there's that aftertaste.

To Life,
Tommy